Tesco joke

One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to George,

"My elbow hurts like hell. I think I'd better go see my doctor"

"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," George replies, "Tesco's have a new diagnostic computer. All you need to do is insert your urine sample and the computer tells you what is wrong, and what you should do about it. Its really quick and only costs a fiver..... a lot quicker and better than a doctor - plus you'll get a few Club card points."

So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco. He puts a fiver in the computer. He pours the urine into a slot at the front of the machine and waits for the diagnosis. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout which reads:

You have tennis elbow.

Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen.

He deposited five pounds, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results.

The computer printed the following:

1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better..

Thank you for shopping at Tesco...

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture

I'm not sure I could manage to jerk off with a pot of that in front of me.

Every little helps...

thats def a Tesco Finest' joke...qaulity:d

thats good...