English Assignment - Venus vs Mars

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"

offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix. The

professor told his class one day:

"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The

process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to

his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the

first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that

paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first

paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back,

also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third

paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been

written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be

absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say

must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a

conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:

Rebecca and Gary.

-------------------------------------------

THE STORY

(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which k ind of tea she wanted. The

chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now

reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he

liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind

off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him

too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the

question.

(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now

in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the

neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had

spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he

said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No

sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish

particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's

cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat

and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one

last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever

had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless

hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law

Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper

one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared

out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed

unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to

distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things

around her.

"Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she wondered

wistfully.

(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands

of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of

its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the

Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Tre aty through the congress had left

Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were

determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage

of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying

enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them,

they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile

entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile

submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the

inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My

writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose

attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I

have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F**KING TEA??? Oh

no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many

Danielle Steele

novels!"

(Rebecca)

Asshole.

(Gary)

Bitch

(Rebecca)

F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!

(Gary)

Go drink some tea - whore.

(TEACHER)

A+ - I really liked this one.

that's cool enjoyed that, luv the teachers answer:lol:

I suspect that the teacher was a man.

What do you think?

Pmsl!

Fantastic

Class Anu' udrian mothership lol

Somone plays to much Eve

Great thread.

On a similar note Hell

Nice

phew, that was a long one!

Very good!