Front lower 'rubber' lip spoiler

I have one of these up for grabs.....

Not mint, but all there and in one piece.

Im not selling it as such, as a member kindly gave me a front nose FOC that had the lip spoiler on it...Id be an asshole asking squillions for it then wouldnt I.

So, for those that are interested...a competition.

Best joke / most embarrasing photo / story behind the reasons for needing one....gets it

A bloke gets pulled over for speeding buy the police,

Police man: why were you speeding

Man says: I am late for work

Police man: why what do you do

Man says: I am a rectum stretcher

Police man: what does that entail

Man says: you start off by shoving one finger up, then two until you can get both your hands in then you strech it as wide as you can

Police man: what do you do with an asshole that big

Man says: give them a uniform and a speed gun

I thought you were trying to recycle one of Ewen's own jokes there super, however following a search it is:

1 Penguin

2 Muffleman

nice try though - it's this kind of bad humour that'll add to Ewen's archive.

Mike

you see,.. this is what I love about our forum.

members selling goods, not for cash, but laughs.

Good work Ewen

I thought you were trying to recycle one of Ewen's own jokes there super, however following a search it is:

 

1 Penguin

 

2 Muffleman

 

nice try though - it's this kind of bad humour that'll add to Ewen's archive.

 

Mike

o dear i ll have to try harder then:cry:

Q:Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

A:You can unscrew a lightbulb

i know i said ill try harder:shrug: but realy need the splitter:tomato:

If this wins then I'll put the spoiler up for "auction" again because I don't need it....

Q: How do you make a woman scream for 10 mins after 0rgazm?

A: Wipe your d1ck on the curtains

ill let you in on a little story as to why i recently fired my secretary

Last Week Was My Birthday And I Didn't Feel Very Well Waking Up That Morning. I Went Downstairs For Breakfast Hoping My Wife Would Be Pleasant And Say, "happy Birthday!", And Possibly Have A Present For Me.

As It Turned Out, She Barely Said Good Morning, Let Alone "happy Birthday." I Thought... Well, That's Marriage For You, But The Kids Will Remember.

My Kids Came Into Breakfast And Didn't Say A Word. So When I Left For The Office, I Was Feeling Pretty Low And Somewhat Despondent.

As I Walked Into My Office, My Secretary Jane Said, "good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday!" It Felt A Little Better That At Least Someone Had Remembered.

I Worked Until One O'clock And Then Jane Knocked On My Door And Said, "you Know, It's Such A Beautiful Day Outside, And It's Your Birthday, Let's Go Out To Lunch, Just You And Me."

I Said, "thanks Jane, That's The Greatest Thing I've Heard All Day. Let's Go!" We Went To Lunch.

But We Didn't Go Where We Normally Would Go.

We Dined Instead At A Little Place With A Private Table. We Had Two Martinis Each And I Enjoyed The Meal Tremendously On The Way Back To The Office, Jane Said, "you Know, It's Such A Beautiful Day... We Don't Need To Go Back To The Office, Do We?"

I Responded, "i Guess Not. What Do You Have In Mind?"

She Said, "let's Go To My Apartment."

After Arriving At Her Apartment Jane Turned To Me And Said, "boss, If You Don't Mind, I'm Going To Step Into The Bedroom For A Moment. I'll Be Right Back."

"ok." I Nervously Replied.

She Went Into The Bedroom And, After A Couple Of Minutes, She Came Out Carrying A Huge Birthday Cake...

Followed By My Wife, Kids, And Dozens Of My Friends And Co-workers, All Singing "happy Birthday".

And I Just Sat There...

On The Couch...

Naked.

Guy walks into the doctors "doctor doctor i think my wife is dead"

Doc: "what makes you think this?"

Guy: "Well the sex is the same but the dishes are starting to pile up!"

DamanC -

1 Suprasteve 19/08/2005

2 DamanC 22/08/2005

3 Wez 21/10/2005

but I felt guilty for flaming super_supra so I couldn't let you off, especially as you were one of the original posters. (and then it was a repost )

Mike

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"

I dont need the front lip by the way !

woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

I dont need the front lip by the way !

You can give it me though if you do win

tenner

DamanC -

 

1 Suprasteve 19/08/2005

 

2 DamanC 22/08/2005

 

3 Wez 21/10/2005

 

but I felt guilty for flaming super_supra so I couldn't let you off, especially as you were one of the original posters. (and then it was a repost )

 

Mike

http://www.mattfacer.com/sounds/little%20britain/yeah%20I%20know%20mp3.mp3

Im not selling it as such, as a member kindly gave me a front nose FOC that had the lip spoiler on it...Id be an asshole asking squillions for it then wouldnt I.

Just a thought Ewen, you could "sell" the spoiler and send the money to Geoff Valenti for Dudes family, that way you don't look like an asshole, and this could contribute to the club..

of course you might not feel comfortable with this, and that would be completely understandable, and your right, but I guess it's perhaps something that might not have occurred to you.

Mike

http://www.mattfacer.com/sounds/little%20britain/yeah%20I%20know%20mp3.mp3

 

Nice one Daman

what’s the closing date for the compotation, and when will the winner be announced:whip:

Whats a compotation

Whats a compotation

It the same as a competition but spelt wrong:rolleyes: i cant speel for my life:violin:

Gary glitter goes home and his wife is packing his bags.

Garywhat’s this all about?

His wifeits because your a pedophile

Garyoooh! Big words for a 6year old

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and

take

them to their separate hotel rooms. The first dwarf, however, is

unable to get an erection.

His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room,

he

hears his little friend shouting out cries of, "Here I come

again...ONE, TWO, THREE..UUH!" all night long.

In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, " How did it go? "

The first mutters," It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't

get an

erection."

The second dwarf shook his head. " You think that's embarrassing? I

couldn't even get on the bed..."

Another one, sorry!

Dam it I'm addicted!

Is there a "I post funny posts anonymous" I can attend? I think I have a problem:

A hippie gets onto a bus and proceeds to sit next to a Nun on the front

seat.

The Hippie looks over and asks the Nun if she would have s*x

with

him.

The Nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off

at

the

next stop.

When the bus starts on it's way the bus driver says to the

hippie,"if you

want I can tell you how you can get that nun to have s*x with

you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know so the bus

driver

tells

him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the

cemetery to

pray

to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing

powder,"said

the bus driver guy "you could tell her you were God and command

her

to

have s*x with you."

Well the Hippie decides to try this out so that Tuesday he goes

to

the

cemetery and waits for the nun. And right on schedule the nun

shows

up.

When she's in the middle of praying the hippie walks out from

hiding, in

robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard

your

prayers and I will answer them but you must have s*x with me

first."

The nun agrees but asks for an*l s*x so she might keep her

virg*nity. The

hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about to go to work on

the

nun.

After the Hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out,

"Ha ha, I'm the hippie!!"

The nun replied by whipping off her mask and shouting,

"Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!!

Dam it I'm addicted!

Classic !

So? Who won the competition? I don't need it, I'm just curious!