Penguins Dating Guide....

5 Golden Rules For Success With Women

1. Ask for it and you won't get it.

Sex is a physical need for men and an emotional need for women. If a woman knows that you find her desirable and want to have sex with her, that in itself fulfils her emotional need. Therefore, if you want to have a chance of actually having sex with her, you need to make her think that you don't find her sexually attractive. The less sexually interested in her that you appear to be, the more sexually interested in you she becomes. Incidentally, this is why men can never get rid of women that they actually don't want to have sex with: ignore them totally and they become obsessed stalkers.

2. Never give an honest answer.

This one sounds obvious but it amazes me how many men actually think they can impress women by being honest…wrong! You impress women by telling outrageous lies. Women only value honesty when it's ruthlessly applied to dissecting the faults of people that they don't like, such as their ex-partners or prettier women. A man who is honest will not lie to her about her own imperfections. No sane woman would risk having a relationship with such a man. Honest men make good friends, but bad relationships. Therefore, always lie. It's the quality that women most admire in men.

3. Don't look for a reason.

This is the most important Golden Rule, NEVER attribute logical thought processes to women. Men think, women feel - it's really that simple! Trying to find a reason why a woman says or does something is as pointless as trying to find a straight line in a circle. Evolution is an economical process, and had no need to install the capacity for rational thought in women. Any action which required problem solving was the role of the man in Mother Nature's plan. Tragically, the logical mind cannot accept a contradiction, and women are full of contradictions. Therefore, any concerted attempt by a man to understand a woman is bound to end in one (or all) of the following;

A. Serious mental illness

B. Divorce

C. Celibacy

D. Suicide

Sadly, women spend their entire lives looking for reasons, this is as pitiable as a blind man seeking to understand the concept of color, and as pitiable as a man trying to understand a woman. Nature's cruel joke!

4. Let her talk.

Women love to talk. Your role is simply to introduce subjects for her to talk about. A master of this will introduce subjects according to her mood, thereby allowing her to express her current feelings. Never introduce any subject that requires thinking. This will simply confuse the woman and lead to silence and sulking after a brief and ill-fated attempt by her to add some coherent input on the tedious subject. A women who can talk to a man for hours will consider him a great conversationalist despite the fact that she has done 99% of the talking. Women talk about their problems because they are unable to solve them, this is Nature's way of accidentally finding solutions. Men identify a problem and then seek a solution. Women identify a problem and then seek someone to talk to about it. Normally, women talk to other women about their problems, and reserve the 'positive' feelings for men. It is important to understand however, that the woman is not seeking solutions from talking to a man about her problems. She is seeking reassurance that she is still sexy despite being a complete basket case mentally. Therefore, a man should only say things like "I agree" when she offers an opinion, "What do you think?" when she asks a question, and "I disagree" if she makes any self-derogatory statement. Women never accept any criticism of themselves as valid, and any introduction of a self-criticism is designed merely to test your reply. Should you foolishly agree and outrageously offer any hint of self-improvement on her part, you will be instantly dismissed in her mind as "argumentative, rude, arrogant, and a complete control freak".

5. Be a man.

Back to basics here: it's all in the genes. Men look silly in dresses, women don't. What women find attractive in men is imprinted by evolution and the traditional role of the man as hunter/gatherer/protector, woman as nurturer/off-spring raiser. Like everywhere else in the animal kingdom, the dominant male has his pick of the females. A man must be dynamic and in control at all times, any sign of weakness and the woman's instinct is to ditch the man and find a more suitable mate. What women want is a bad boy who will treat them well, but not so well that they don't have anything to bitch about to their female friends. Bitching about the male of the species is how females bond with each other - another one of evolution's little jokes!

so true!

superb!

i say we start our own secret sect/cult..... we can hide in a treehouse and talk about women....and supra's....... with free beer

free beer? im there!

somebody bring fake tits for ewen LMAO .... would be nice to see him in a dress