Me sexist? No way!

To our valued Customers:

Barclays Bank is very pleased to inform you that we are

installing new 'Drive-thru' cash point machines where our customers will be able to

withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable customers make full use of these

new facilities we have conducted intensive

behavioural studies to come up with the appropriate procedures for their use.

Please read the procedures that apply to you and remember them

for when you use our new machines for the first time:

PROCEDURES FOR OUR MALE CUSTOMERS

1 Drive up to cash machine

2 Wind down car window

3 Insert card and enter PIN

4 Enter amount of cash required

5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt

6 Wind up window

7 Drive off

PROCEDURES FOR OUR FEMALE CUSTOMERS

1 Drive up to cash machine

2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window with cash machine

3 Re-start the stalled engine

4 Wind down the window

5 Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card

6 Turn the radio down

7 Attempt to insert card into machine

8 Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its excessive distance from the car

9 Insert card

10 After 'Invalid Card' is displayed - remove Marks and Spencer charge card and insert correct cash point card

11 Remove cash point card

12 Re- insert cash point card the right way up

13 Re-enter handbag to find diary with PIN written on the inside back page

14 Enter PIN

15 Press 'Cancel' and enter correct number

16 Enter amount of cash required

17 Check make-up in rear view mirror

18 Retrieve cash and receipt

19 Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside

20 Place receipt in back of cheque book

21 Re-check make-up

22 Drive forward 2 metres

23 Reverse back to cash machine

24 Retrieve card

25 Re-empty handbag, locate card holder and place card into slot provided

26 Restart stalled engine and pull off

27 Drive for 2 to 3 miles

28 Release hand brake

Mel just clouted me on your behalf for being male *grin*

Mel just clouted me on your behalf for being male *grin*

ah, so she never denied the accuracy then?

Sir, you are on your own with that one, I want to sleep tonight in safety....*grin*

Oh dear CJ....

You keep on diggin' my love....wait till I see you saturday!

*slap*

Very good !

Reminds me of some advice I was given last week-

women are only good for 1 week in a month.

The rest of the time they are either- coming on,on or coming off !

pls dont shoot the messenger

Dont worry gals....

CJ..I seen YOU checking your makeup in the rear view mirror a few times..

(he wears Orange make-up...sshhh dont tell anyone )

Oh dear CJ....

You keep on diggin' my love....wait till I see you saturday!

 

*slap*

mmm...I lurve a Domme woman

Dont worry gals....

 

CJ..I seen YOU checking your makeup in the rear view mirror a few times..

 

(he wears Orange make-up...sshhh dont tell anyone )

When I was in the bath with you this morning you promised you would keep that a secret - bitch!