Joke 1

I am clearing out my inbox, so I may share a few jokes with you lot! Here's the first......I have changed all the American phrases to Engrish!!

Joe says to his mate, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to wait ages for an appointment," His mate replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at the local ASDA. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs five quid... A lot cheaper than a prescription and a less of a wait too."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the local store. He deposits his fiver in the machine, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow!. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ ASDA."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. So, he mixed some tap water, a couple of drops of oil from his dipstick, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and cracked one off into the jar for good measure.

Joe hurries back to ASDA, eager to check the results. He

deposits another fiver and pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

"1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

2. You cylinder head gasket has gone. Go to a gargage for a new one and get new oil!! (Aisle 7)

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a solicitor.

5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping @ ASDA.":d

H.

Repost

Repost

Well about time too. After over 2000 posts I have my first repost!!

H.

Well about time too. After over 2000 posts I have my first repost!!

 

H.