Essex girls... joke

Probably a repost but got it in an email today... sorry if any offence is caused!

An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit.

How many children?" asks the council worker.

10" replies the Essex girl.

10?" says the council worker. "What are their names?"

Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne"

Doesn't that get confusing?"

Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing

in

the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY, or WAAYNE GO

TO

BED NOW and they all do it..."

What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed

council

worker. That's easy," says the Essex girl... "I just use their

surnames"

An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on

the counter. I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress."she

says.

Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.

"No" she replies, "This time it's mayonnaise."

Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.

The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."

She says "I'll take the red one."

The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."

An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and

bleeding.

The paramedics soon arrive on site.

Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some

questions?"

Girl: "OK"

Medic: "What's your name?"

Girl: "Sharon."

Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"

Sharon: "Yes."

Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"

Sharon: "Romford, mate."

An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang. It was

her

boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Treacle, I just heard on the news that

there's a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!"

It's not just one car!" said the Essex girl, "There's hundreds of them!"

Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; There's blood

everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till

she's lying flat out on the floor.

Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."

Sharon: "Ok."

Medic: "How many fingers am I putting up?"

Sharon: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"

Lmao

LOL!

they are brilliant!

quality love the surname one