Generic Rant Thread

The guy I saw today was asking me about writing (which I do in my spare time) and went into more detail about that than anything about my actual profession. Oh and he told me he tried to write a romantic novel once...but only managed a chapter.

Maybe it was an erotic book he was writing, but he only managed to write the naughty bit. I suppose afterwards he lost all interest in the rest of the book and went to sleep.

whats your pseudonym name Charlotte?

Mrs Whiggins.

The guy I saw today was asking me about writing (which I do in my spare time) and went into more detail about that than anything about my actual profession. Oh and he told me he tried to write a romantic novel once...but only managed a chapter.

...and that chapter probably ended with a drunken shag round the back of Flares cut short by the heroic male lead puking bits of kebab over his near comatose conquest.

I'd guess......

whats your pseudonym name Charlotte?

I have a 'pen name'.

It's Bic.

Neighbours that only have one car and do not park their cars in the big empty driveways, but decide the car is best parked bumped up on the pavement.

Ahh Lee, he truly is a numpty!

Oi you - watch it!

Unless you work at Office Angels, you are safe

one neighbour next door, complained of fumes coming out of my exhaust when the car was warming up. I said I would try and park it elsewhere. she seemed quite annoyed and cut up about something. mind you people have said that my car sounds like a low flying aircraft. anyway, so the car is now parked outside her house, becuase i am rebelling, and feel that i have a right to park it there. poor lady. if she complains again, i will just say that i will try and not start it if she has her windows open.

Bagpipes! WTF is appealing about the godawful drone that those things produce?

 

Even worse are 'bagpipe albums'. Your 'favourite classics' played on Satan's torture instrument of choice, the Bagpipe!

 

Even worserer would be the kind of wooly brained dullards who buy sh*t like 'Spirit of the Glen'. You'll find them in Woolworths although, thankfully, not for much longer.

 

C'mon Jamesmark. Defend them and I'll come round to your house and laugh in your face until I prolapse.

See the attached pic, spotted at Gretna services a month or two ago, not only do they sound crap but they are filthy germ carriers too.

Young white kids who think it's cool to talk as if they're born black.

Southerners who move to Leeds really get my goat.

Really, can I have him back now?

The Japanese office during winter. It's a sweat box.

I'm sat here in a T-Shirt, and everyone else is wearing jumpers and jackets quietly but politely commenting how cold it is.

The air con is set to 24deg.

One bird is wearing a scarf, and I saw another with a blanket wrapped around her a few minutes ago. This is not normal, see a doctor.

I have to be the first in the office just so I can set the aircon, which I've discovered through trial and error must be a minimum of 23deg otherwise it'll get cranked up to 27deg+

And people wonder why they get colds and coughs.

Open the window and get some fresh air !!!!!!!!!!

The Japanese office during winter. It's a sweat box.

 

I'm sat here in a T-Shirt, and everyone else is wearing jumpers and jackets quietly but politely commenting how cold it is.

 

The air con is set to 24deg.

 

One bird is wearing a scarf, and I saw another with a blanket wrapped around her a few minutes ago. This is not normal, see a doctor.

 

I have to be the first in the office just so I can set the aircon, which I've discovered through trial and error must be a minimum of 23deg otherwise it'll get cranked up to 27deg+

 

And people wonder why they get colds and coughs.

 

Open the window and get some fresh air !!!!!!!!!!

I used to travel to Japan on business, and we'd often have to work weekends (or Japanese bank holidays) as well. The offices never had the air con on at the weekends - even in the summer. It was not pleasant!

I used to travel to Japan on business, and we'd often have to work weekends (or Japanese bank holidays) as well. The offices never had the air con on at the weekends - even in the summer. It was not pleasant!

I can imagine, considering how humid it is during the summer !

I had a similar problem in Saudi until we found out where the security guard slept instead of sitting at his desk. The whole building was centrally controlled and with big windows and 50deg heat outside it used to be like a greenhouse....

Really, can I have him back now?

Lee from office angels?

Lee from office angels?

You can keep him.

People that insist on giving their advice or opinion when it’s not asked for and can’t take it when someone else has advice or opinion on something.

Really cant stand that...

Bagpipes! WTF is appealing about the godawful drone that those things produce?

 

Even worse are 'bagpipe albums'. Your 'favourite classics' played on Satan's torture instrument of choice, the Bagpipe!

 

Even worserer would be the kind of wooly brained dullards who buy sh*t like 'Spirit of the Glen'. You'll find them in Woolworths although, thankfully, not for much longer.

 

C'mon Jamesmark. Defend them and I'll come round to your house and laugh in your face until I prolapse.

This has to be post of the year. Absolutely brilliant.

You can keep him.

Well you can't have your goat back - he produces the best cheese for me.

People who say "I'll ask the question". I've no idea why I find it so annoying but I really could be moved to violence when I hear it.

Also people who say 'sanity check', 'quick question' and 'moving forward'.... stop!

I haven't read the thread but I want to kill everyone who's ever played or plays panpipes. Or even anyone who plays CDs with panpipes on. I hate them so much even thinking about them makes me want to eat a sock full of snooker balls and then jump up and down until my balls fall off.

I love those panpipe guys!

I love those panpipe guys!

Do you have to lip-read to get by or do you know sign language?

Also people who say 'sanity check', 'quick question' and 'moving forward'.... stop!

don't forget the quick wins and if something it too tricky or contentious, you'll have to park that one for the time being. Park what?!

I haven't read the thread but I want to kill everyone who's ever played or plays panpipes. Or even anyone who plays CDs with panpipes on. I hate them so much even thinking about them makes me want to eat a sock full of snooker balls and then jump up and down until my balls fall off.

I agree....

RECORDERS !! those rubbish plastic things that sound like a cross between a flute and a whistle i can’t stand them.

Every summer for 4 years for most of the day my neighbour would be "practicing" on it when i just wanted to relax in the garden.

Ahhhhhhhhh