Ewen Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 My wifes just told me this. She parked up outside in the day and saw a delivery van outside the house two doors up. They were offloading a fridge, cooker etc, and the female of the house was standing by their gate. Wife assumes they were just moving in and goes over and introduces herself as a neighbour. She welcomes the woman to the road, wishing her good luck in her new house. Wife then goes on to tell the woman how the previous owners were a bit stuck-up and had incredibly noisy kids, and hadnt said a word to us in the two years they had lived here. Woman aparently smiled and informed my wife that they had just remodelled the kitchen...as shed got sick of putting up with the old stuff for the last two years:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerous brain Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Oh classic. What did she say next I love seeing how people deal with that sort of clanger "thats not two pillows" springs to mind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil tt Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Excellent:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jefferson Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 classic faux pas:rlol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted November 30, 2007 Author Share Posted November 30, 2007 Oh classic. What did she say next My wife cant remember saying anything next, but she thinks she apologised and walked off. Maybe its at least broken the ice, shes right, they havent said a word to us in two years and I've been blanked a few times myself. No harm done as far as I'm concerned:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supra steveo Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 bet she wanted the earth to open and swallow her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Bless Your wife seems as funny as you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juanchan Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Genius! Sounds like the kind of thing I would do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kranz Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Nearly as good as my colleague who saw that the car in front was swerving across its lane of the motorway. Thinking they had a well inebriated drink driver they pulled alongside and saw the driver was slumped over the steering wheel & was so close that he could have steered with his mouth! So they pulled him over and my colleague went to the driver's window. "The reason we've stopped you sir is that you were swerving all over your lane. Can you tell me why the hell you're sitting so close to the wheel?" And as the driver turns round to speak to him my colleague realises..... He'd just stopped a thalidomide victim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juanchan Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Nearly as good as my colleague who saw that the car in front was swerving across its lane of the motorway. Thinking they had a well inebriated drink driver they pulled alongside and saw the driver was slumped over the steering wheel & was so close that he could have steered with his mouth! So they pulled him over and my colleague went to the driver's window. "The reason we've stopped you sir is that you were swerving all over your lane. Can you tell me why the hell you're sitting so close to the wheel?" And as the driver turns round to speak to him my colleague realises..... He'd just stopped a thalidomide victim. I think I'd just run away and die of shame at home if that happened to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Nearly as good as my colleague who saw that the car in front was swerving across its lane of the motorway. Thinking they had a well inebriated drink driver they pulled alongside and saw the driver was slumped over the steering wheel & was so close that he could have steered with his mouth! So they pulled him over and my colleague went to the driver's window. "The reason we've stopped you sir is that you were swerving all over your lane. Can you tell me why the hell you're sitting so close to the wheel?" And as the driver turns round to speak to him my colleague realises..... He'd just stopped a thalidomide victim. From the long arm of the law to the....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kranz Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 From the long arm of the law to the....... Easy boy! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted November 30, 2007 Author Share Posted November 30, 2007 Theres mileage in this surely...any others ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juanchan Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Wouldn't any stories be in the sticky thread at the top of Off Topic? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted November 30, 2007 Author Share Posted November 30, 2007 Wouldn't any stories be in the sticky thread at the top of Off Topic? True Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juanchan Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Sorry - I didn't mean to stop the fun! I tend to hide these incidents from my memory so I can't share the shame sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kranz Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 'A colleague' was driving along and a car passed on a roundabout with a little boy in the back sticking 2 fingers up at them. So they stop the car and the driver, a fat guy, gets out. They recognised the 'kid' in the back as, well, sort of one of The Krankies LOL ( & a well known client lets say). So they check the car out & its registered to Miss X. Colleague say to the driver "Do you know Miss X?" The driver replies "What do you mean do I know Miss X?" Colleague says "Well sir, this car is registered to Miss X, so I want to know why you're driving it?" Driver shouts back "What do you mean Sir???" So by this time he's slightly confused. He replies "Ok then, how would you like me to address you?" Driver replies "YOU call me MADAM!" And like the cogs whirring in Big Ben as its about to chime his brain is trying to fathom why this fat bloke with a bowl cut is wanting to be called madam! He looks at him again. Jeans (on the rather large side of XXL), t shirt (nothing obvious under it.... if you know what I mean, maybe moobs), bloke's face, pudding bowl haircut. And he's about to say "Why the xxxx would I want to do that" when it clicks.... "Well thank you for your time Miss X, now please ensure that your sister is wearing her seatbelt in the back & doesn't stick two fingers up at us in the future". Mr X had obviously become a she at some point..... and the wierd thing is that the sister in the back was a woman but looked like a little boy An 'interesting' family.... and not quite what they seem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerous brain Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Gawd sometimes I wish I could say exactly what I think. Oh wait to the eternal embarrassment of all of whom that know me I do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kranz Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Lol @ DB.... you're in a lucky position mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 LOL @ this thread!! It reminds me of when I was in the local Spar. I was queing for the till when two women who obviously know each other start chatting! One of them has a bit of a belly! One says "So how are you then?" "Ok" she replies "So when is the baby due then"? The other one says "I had it 3 weeks ago"......... I nearly coughed my lung up I laughed so hard.... H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juanchan Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 LOL @ this thread!! It reminds me of when I was in the local Spar. I was queing for the till when two women who obviously know each other start chatting! One of them has a bit of a belly! One says "So how are you then?" "Ok" she replies "So when is the baby due then"? The other one says "I had it 3 weeks ago"......... I nearly coughed my lung up I laughed so hard.... H. In the words of Jimmy Car.....When on a bus, I'd rather see a pregnant woman standing than a fat girl sitting down crying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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