CJ Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 Apologies if this is a repost and, for the benefit of the thread verification police, this is probably not true - but it still made me chuckle Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping - this letter was recently sent (allegedly) by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford : Dear Mrs. Murray, While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras: 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... And watched what happened. 5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove. 7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it. 9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were. 10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again." And; last, but not least: 14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keancy Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 LOL, brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 That made me laugh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DodgyRog Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 I think I might get in trouble the next time the missus makes me go shopping with her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keancy Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 I think I might get in trouble the next time the missus makes me go shopping with her LOL, one of my workmates does that when she goes shopping. For a laugh she will put packs of condoms and stuff into granny's trolly then watch as granny gets all flustered at the till. I woulnd't have the guts to do that hehehe.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGav Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 I so hope that is true, if not I'll give a few a go... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 Apologies if this is a repost and, for the benefit of the thread verification police, this is probably not true - but it still made me chuckle You called? And you're right, it's not true : http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/spree.asp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2JG Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 superb!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJ Posted November 23, 2007 Author Share Posted November 23, 2007 You called? And you're right, it's not true : http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/spree.asp Ah well, it doesn't have to be true to be amusing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 it doesn't have to be true to be amusing Indeed. I wonder why people insist that these things are actually true though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJ Posted November 23, 2007 Author Share Posted November 23, 2007 Indeed. I wonder why people insist that these things are actually true though. Gives them more credence I guess. The funny thing was, it wasn't you I was thinking of when I posted re. the thread verification police but another member Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted November 24, 2007 Share Posted November 24, 2007 They're all as bad as each other Col. A load of us did #2 with our alarm clocks when I was living in the Sgts Mess at Bovington. The office was at the end of our corridor and it drove all the mess staff mad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Class One Posted November 24, 2007 Share Posted November 24, 2007 Gives them more credence I guess. The funny thing was, it wasn't you I was thinking of when I posted re. the thread verification police but another member Canny? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CJ Posted November 24, 2007 Author Share Posted November 24, 2007 Canny? You might say that, I could not possibly comment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil tt Posted November 24, 2007 Share Posted November 24, 2007 Very good:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnA Posted November 24, 2007 Share Posted November 24, 2007 Some good ideas there CJ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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