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'Joke'


Ewen

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My niece and her five year old son were round to visit earlier.

We were watching some childrens tv and he looked at me and said "Uncle Ewen, where does poo come from?"

I'm fine with awkward questions so I said "Well you know we just ate some cake and biscuits?"

"Yes," answers the little lad.

"Well" I said, "the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever horrible nasty stuff is left over comes out of our bottoms when we go to the toilet, and that is poo."

The little lad looked shocked, and stared at me with tears welling up in his eyes in stunned silence for a few seconds and then asked

"What about Tigger?"

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My niece and her five year old son were round to visit earlier.

We were watching some childrens tv and he looked at me and said "Uncle Ewen, where does poo come from?"

I'm fine with awkward questions so I said "Well you know we just ate some cake and biscuits?"

"Yes," answers the little lad.

"Well" I said, "the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever horrible nasty stuff is left over comes out of our bottoms when we go to the toilet, and that is poo."

The little lad looked shocked, and stared at me with tears welling up in his eyes in stunned silence for a few seconds and then asked

"What about Tigger?"

 

a classic joke, nicely adapted ;)

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Two tramps meet up in town and decide they need to get drunk, the first tramp asks how much the other tramp has, and he tells him he has around 30pence, so he reaches into his pocket and coughs up another 20pence himself, 'we arnt going to get drunk on 50pence now are we says the second tramp, give it to me says the first i have an idea, so he goes into the butchers and comes out with a sausage, i realy dont see how that will get us drunk says the second tramp, well he says what we do is this, we go into a pub order two double jack daniels and knock them back then i pull down my flies push the sausage through my flies and you drop to your knees and suck on it, this will get us thrown out without having to pay, so with that they go to the first pub order two jack daniels push the sausage through the flies and the tramp sucks on it, the landlord orders them to leave and never return, amazed it actualy worked they carry on to the next bar and do the same again, in the ninth bar the tramps are absolutely shit faced, they just finish ordering there drinks when the second tramp says ' i cant do this anymore all this slamming to the floor is killing my knees!!! thats nothing says the first tramp i lost the sausage in the forth bar

 

 

long i know but still i thought it was funny

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