Quantum christmas

[Dale B]

Quantitive Analysis of the Dynamics of Time, Energy and Forces with Respect to Single Modal Intra-neighbourhood Delivery of Christmas

 

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18 in the

world. However, since Santa does not usually visit children of Muslim,

Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for

Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the

population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children

per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at

least one good child in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work

with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth,

assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to

967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household

with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the

sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the

remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for

him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next

house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around

the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the

purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per

household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops

or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per

second-3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the

fastest man made vehicle is the Ulysses space probe. It moves at a poky

27.4 miles per second. A conventional reindeer can run at best, 15 miles

per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element.

Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set

(two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500,000 tons, not counting Santa

himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds.

Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal

amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them. Santa would

need 360,000 reindeer. This increases the payload, not counting the weight

of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of

the Queen Elizabeth II (the ship, not the monarch).

Almost 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air

resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a

spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer

would adsorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short,

they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer

behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire

reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or

right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from

a dead stop to 650 miles per second 0.001 seconds, would be subjected to

acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems

ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015

pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him

to a quivering blob of pink goo.

 

Merry Christmas!!!

 

Wouldnt have this problem if he delivered in a Supra

[Elliot]

Is this how they proved Santa wasn't real!?

 

Class

[paul_y3k]

but you forget .. Santa is special and operate outside of what we call time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

ok lest thats what I told my nephews ....

[Supragal]

Scrooge