lust2luv Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 This bloke is working on the buses in Texas collecting tickets. He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman still trying to get on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the bloke is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish. "Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?" the man asks. The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits until he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it. "Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so," says the executioner, "that's never happened before." So, the man leaves and (would you believe) gets his job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. This time a man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas. The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still there smiling in the chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go. Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses AGAIN. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up all the electricity in America to the chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling. "What's your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch?" The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner then pulls the handle and a zillion million trillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark. "I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand. How you can still be alive after all that?" He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it?" he asked. "Nope, nothing to do with anything in the banana." says the bloke, "It's... "It's... "It's... "It's... Wait for it........ This is really bad... Wait for it........ Shocking in fact... Almost here now... OK, here it is... "It's just that I'm a . . . . REALLY . . . . BAD . . . . CONDUCTOR . . . . !!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marco Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 LMAO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grazer Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 Groan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oxygene Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 Have you been studying under Far m8....? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trig Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 PMSL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supragal Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 I like green bananas too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Prawn Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 BRILLIANT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sky Posted December 15, 2004 Share Posted December 15, 2004 GROAN !! I could kill you for making me read all that LOL ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
250horses Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Thats sooooo bad it almost becomes good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scoboblio Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Bravo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soo Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Brilliant... the rest of the office nearly killed me after I took 10 minutes reading it to them !!!!!! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGav Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Yup, I like that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bens747 Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 Just the sort of silly joke that I find really funny. A bit like..... Two television aerials get married. The wedding was fantastis but the reception was lousy..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Prawn Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 Surely it's the wedding was lousy but the reception was fantastic? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bens747 Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 Does it really matter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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