50 things you want to say but don’t.

[Sandy-m2]

1. I see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ahhhh. I see the f*ck-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a sh*t.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.

18. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!

19. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

20. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

21. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

22. And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be?

23. Do I look like a f*cking people person to you?

24. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

25. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

26. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

27. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

28. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

29. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.

30. Oh I get it. Like humour, but different.........

31. Can I swap this job for what's behind door .........1?

32. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

33. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it?

34. Chaos, panic, disorder. My work here is done.

35. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.

36. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.

37. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

38. Aren't you a black hole of need.

39. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?

40. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?

41. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.

42. If you have something to say raise your hand.........then place it over your mouth.

43. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?

44. Don't let your mind wander, its too small to be let out on its own.

45. Have a nice day, somewhere else.

46. You’re not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.

47. You are as pretty as a picture, I'd really like to hang you.

48. Don't believe everything you think.

49. Do you hear that? That’s the sound of no-one caring.

50. The fact that nobody understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.

[jim_supra]

I think No. 42 is best.

[Pete]

I'm keeping that and sticking it on the wall to offend the sales manager with.

[Havard]

6 is my favourite!!

 

I can see that being used a few times.....

 

H.

[jim_supra]

6 is my favourite!!

 

I can see that being used a few times.....

 

H.

 

And I can see Mrs H. responding with No. 30:d

[Guest CoolsBlue]

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

 

i say that all the time at work LOL

 

27. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

 

 

think ill try this one at work today when someone comes up to me and starts yapping away in polish

[ivan]

And I can see Mrs H. responding with No. 30:d

Nah, I reckon it'd be No 14.