turbonut Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 I know 'repost' will appear 2 seconds after I've posted it but hopefully theres enough new ones to raise a smile or two on a friday!!! Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours? If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? What is the speed of darkness? Are there especially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics? If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here? Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? Do you cry under water? How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Did you ever stop and wonder...... Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum." Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ?? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me !!!!) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? Lxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jim_supra Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? I love that one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt H Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 "What is the speed of darkness? Do you cry under water? " Those two are just dumb! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kieran Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ?? I've always wondered about that and what they actually dream about. Never had the bollox to ask one though. Also, what if the Hokie Cokie (sp?) really is what it's all about? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours? Maybe they meant they pooped themselves and woke up crying! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbourner Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ?? Also, if someone can speak more than one language what language do they think in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 Also, if someone can speak more than one language what language do they think in? Both. I once asked my German next door neighbour that very question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eve Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 Yep, I was working with a girl from Norway who referred to a kettle as a water cooker because she was thinking in Norwegian but speaking English to me. I thought it was quite cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turbonut Posted September 21, 2007 Author Share Posted September 21, 2007 Also, if someone can speak more than one language what language do they think in? I went to study in Athens after I graduated and had spent 3 years learning modern greek prior to going over there. After 6 months i was thinking in both languages!! When someone spoke to me in Greek I would translate to English in my head then re-translate to Greek and out it tumbled!! resulted in time delays in the coversations but it was an interesting few months But when I came back, although I was being spoken to in Enlgish I would often begin to respond in Greek before the Engliush kicked in Most confused for several months after returning! Lx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozz Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 I often wondered why people say stuff like 'my PC is running like a dog'? My dogs run great! Love this one: "Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 *cough* Very dusty in here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supra-Woman Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 I have just been told that Goofy is a cow??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Headroom Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 Why do they call "express checkouts" in supermarkets, when they are not! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbourner Posted September 21, 2007 Share Posted September 21, 2007 And why is fast food slower than going home and cooking a roast!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil tt Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 All very good:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRalphMan Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 I have just been told that Goofy is a cow??? Not to be unkind, but someone told you a load of poop.. See here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Killer Heels Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 Great post Linda. Why is toast, toast and not cooked bread? why when you go to a resturant and they put a plate down and say "thats hot" do you have to put your hand on it and check? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnA Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 ...Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? I've got convincing answers for most of them, but the above three totally elude me:d Especially the Tarzan one, I've been wondering as a kid about this myself, along with his language skills and the reason for wearing that cloth. WTF, he wakes up in the morning and he shaves? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supra-Woman Posted September 22, 2007 Share Posted September 22, 2007 Not to be unkind, but someone told you a load of poop.. See here Thanks for clearing that up, lol. I will be sending that link on with a smiley to that person, hahahaha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.