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Mum in law (thread contains trivial chat)


Ewen

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Just had a phone call from my darling mum-in-law.

She wants to buy an internet. One like Dot Cottons got. She wants to find her grandad, and she wants to sell seven rented garages worth of damp mouldy tat. She wants to know which internet to buy, but wants one she can take in the car. Can I tell her which one is best, and can I fit it (shudder) one weekend.

This follows on from the Sky HD affair, where she had Sky HD installed and complained that the picture was not as good as she was led to believe. The engineer that came round was very patient in his attempt to explain that a 15 year old CRT was not going to provide HD pictures. An HD screen was duly ordered, only to be sent back as it was too loud.

My father in law has a look about him these days. A look that sums up 60 years of this sort of stuff:d

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Oh, I don't know Martin. Until they invent a TV that shits itself regularly then I'll prefer it over old people every time!!

H.

:(That reminds me, they are coming over for Christmas day again this year. I can handle most things, but a one-legged 15 stone, slack bowelled drunk woman, stuck to (actually, stuck around) a toilet whilst singing We'll Meet Again is weapon-grade yukky.

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LOL - I feel for you Ewen.

 

My old Mum wanted an internet so that she could buy things she saw on TV on her art'n'craft programs. I set it all up and showed her how to use it (complete with her making her own notes etc) but every time she wants to buy something she calls me up to do it for her. :D

 

And now my neice has told her she needs a new computer because the one she's got is too old. "You better speak to Uncle Ken and ask him to do it for you Grandma." :blink:

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  • 3 weeks later...
Not going well then Ewen?:D

Not good at all Nathan. I would say its impossible actually.

 

The weekend.

 

Sorted their mobile phones, I'd say they have around seven hundred quids worth of sim free phones, none work, no numbers or instructions, nowt. Got two working after a herculean effort and finding some stuff in a plastic bag in the freezer (again).

 

Failed to sort their Sky HD. They had a fully working set up in the conservatory after I got them a cheap HD screen, but when I turned up on Sat dad in law had decided to move all the stuff around. HD screen was in small bedroom...normal aerial plugged in. HD box was in the lounge....normal tv and one sky co-ax plugged in so Sky+ doesnt work properly. Twin HD co-ax is actually in the conservatory, where hes got another normal tv working by using one of the twin HD ins but changing the end connector. VHS recorder plugged into itself:d I gave up after spending a couple of hours putting it all back together only to be told they dont want it in the conservatory as its too cold.

 

Failed to sort her internet comprehensively. Its very hard to connect a 19" monitor to the internet. We are not sure where the rest of the stuff shes bought is. My guess is its in the freezer again, but I was outa there at seven on sunday as I couldnt be sure of watching Top Gear otherwise.

 

I reckon Jake could sort it though.

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Why drag poor old Jake into it you rotten sod. ;)

 

 

 

 

 

Walk away Ewen, walk away.

 

The only trouble is, when they eventually pay someone to fix things they'll end up saying "My son-in-law set it up for us, but it's never worked properly." :(

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Not good at all Nathan. I would say its impossible actually.

 

The weekend.

 

Sorted their mobile phones, I'd say they have around seven hundred quids worth of sim free phones, none work, no numbers or instructions, nowt. Got two working after a herculean effort and finding some stuff in a plastic bag in the freezer (again).

 

Failed to sort their Sky HD. They had a fully working set up in the conservatory after I got them a cheap HD screen, but when I turned up on Sat dad in law had decided to move all the stuff around. HD screen was in small bedroom...normal aerial plugged in. HD box was in the lounge....normal tv and one sky co-ax plugged in so Sky+ doesnt work properly. Twin HD co-ax is actually in the conservatory, where hes got another normal tv working by using one of the twin HD ins but changing the end connector. VHS recorder plugged into itself:d I gave up after spending a couple of hours putting it all back together only to be told they dont want it in the conservatory as its too cold.

 

Failed to sort her internet comprehensively. Its very hard to connect a 19" monitor to the internet. We are not sure where the rest of the stuff shes bought is. My guess is its in the freezer again, but I was outa there at seven on sunday as I couldnt be sure of watching Top Gear otherwise.

 

I reckon Jake could sort it though.

 

I'm sorry, what sitcom was this? Is it the one with Jerry Seinfeld in it?

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