kieren1234 Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 Just thought i would ask because all me and my missus seem to do lately is argue, she gets on at me constatly and even when i get in after a hard days work and im tired, it seems that she just wants to cause an argument!!!! Are there any good suggestions as i have tried speaking to her but she doesnt take constructive critisism and it often flares into yet another argument. The main thing we argue about is her smoking (i despise smoking) and her dad died of lung cancer due to smoking when she was 11!!! How stupid can you be. Rant over, sorry im just really pissed off and staying at my mum and dads tonight because i cant be bothered with the hassle!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edge Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 How long have you been together? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr keef Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 our lass is an arsehole Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snake Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 how old are you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Godmutha Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 sorry to hear that Kieran.... you need to sit and tell her how you feel and try not to make it sound like you're criticising her.... if she feels like she's bein attacked, she will go on the defensive. Am here if you want a chat hun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waderz06 Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 Im single mate so cant really help with this but me and my (now ex) girlfriend were argueing all the time for about 4 months before we called it a day. Looking back on it the things we argued about were mostly down to me (and the fact she was a loon) but the split was a good thing for both of us. This might not be the right move for you but if you cant sort out your problems its just not worth the hassle of being together. Good luck with things mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz1 Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 mmmm smoking eh, when did she start was she a kid who started through pressure from other kids, long time smokers have a real hard time giving up, and you constantly wittering at her about it will do the opposite from what your hoping, encouragement may help, have you tried that, and i dont mean moaning, was she a smoker when you met her, i don,t mean to be harsh matey but if you have never smoked you will never know, all these dickheads that say giving up is all in the mind, its easy if you want too, is a load of bollox, other than that good luck hope you pair can sort it;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 Kieren mate, if its constant arguments id suggest finding someone else!! You are only young, world = oyster and all that jazz! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kieren1234 Posted September 14, 2007 Author Share Posted September 14, 2007 How long have you been together? 3 years our lass is an arsehole LOL how old are you 20 sorry to hear that Kieran.... you need to sit and tell her how you feel and try not to make it sound like you're criticising her.... if she feels like she's bein attacked, she will go on the defensive. Am here if you want a chat hun Thanks alot, theres no talking to her, she is contrantly on the defense Im single mate so cant really help with this but me and my (now ex) girlfriend were argueing all the time for about 4 months before we called it a day. Looking back on it the things we argued about were mostly down to me (and the fact she was a loon) but the split was a good thing for both of us. This might not be the right move for you but if you cant sort out your problems its just not worth the hassle of being together. Good luck with things mate Cheers buddy mmmm smoking eh, when did she start was she a kid who started through pressure from other kids, long time smokers have a real hard time giving up, and you constantly wittering at her about it will do the opposite from what your hoping, encouragement may help, have you tried that, and i dont mean moaning, was she a smoker when you met her, i don,t mean to be harsh matey but if you have never smoked you will never know, all these dickheads that say giving up is all in the mind, its easy if you want too, is a load of bollox, other than that good luck hope you pair can sort it;) I know it is hard to stop but she has stopped plenty of times and it has'nt bothered her, so why start again, maybe i just dont understand it having never smoked before. I may take it up at this rate Cheers everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kieren1234 Posted September 14, 2007 Author Share Posted September 14, 2007 Kieren mate, if its constant arguments id suggest finding someone else!! You are only young, world = oyster and all that jazz! I wish i could be bothered mate, now im settled i cant be assed with going out and trying to find someone, plus, theres no way im moving back in with my parents lol. I wanna stay with her 110% certain about that, just can be bothered with arguments, they dont solve anything. Our arguments are usually a case of her kiscking off, me ignoring her because im bored of it and then she gets even worse if i dont argue back lol. Oh well, i have a supra, thats something to be happy about Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz1 Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 3 years LOL 20 Thanks alot, theres no talking to her, she is contrantly on the defense Cheers buddy I know it is hard to stop but she has stopped plenty of times and it has'nt bothered her, so why start again, maybe i just dont understand it having never smoked before. I may take it up at this rate Cheers everyone. it affects people differently, i gave up for 4 years and went back, jeez i felt a right arse for getting hooked again, i am planning a comeback to the no smoking world again though:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicky Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 what does she kick off about? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz1 Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 I wish i could be bothered mate, now im settled i cant be assed with going out and trying to find someone, plus, theres no way im moving back in with my parents lol. I wanna stay with her 110% certain about that, just can be bothered with arguments, they dont solve anything. Our arguments are usually a case of her kiscking off, me ignoring her because im bored of it and then she gets even worse if i dont argue back lol. Oh well, i have a supra, thats something to be happy about just remember that can be taken out of your control, as she clearly is not happy too Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turbonut Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 sad to hear it Kieran. did she smoke when you met her and if so did it bother u then and did you discuss it? If there are other things your arguing about it may just be symptomatic of the situation you are both in as a whole and its manifesting itself in the smoking thing. Is there something upsetting her at the moment? Any stresses in her life, worries, problems at work or with her family? She could be striking out at you purely because your nearest and its not intentional. If she wont talk now, perhaps some time apart - no calls even, let her have some space and yourself too - may let her and you calm down and be able to stand back a little and look at it more coolly in a few days. Only you know your situation the best as you are in it and we are not. wish you all the best dealing with it hun Linda xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz1 Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 what does she kick off about? probably the same things as you, not enough handbags and shoes:p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicky Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 probably the same things as you, not enough handbags and shoes:p dunno what you mean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kieren1234 Posted September 14, 2007 Author Share Posted September 14, 2007 what does she kick off about? Anything and everything really at the moment tbh. Im not saying im completely innocent, far from it, but i prefer to just let arguments last minimal time, she makes them go on for ages. probably the same things as you, not enough handbags and shoes:p :d:d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kieren1234 Posted September 14, 2007 Author Share Posted September 14, 2007 sad to hear it Kieran. did she smoke when you met her and if so did it bother u then and did you discuss it? If there are other things your arguing about it may just be symptomatic of the situation you are both in as a whole and its manifesting itself in the smoking thing. Is there something upsetting her at the moment? Any stresses in her life, worries, problems at work or with her family? She could be striking out at you purely because your nearest and its not intentional. If she wont talk now, perhaps some time apart - no calls even, let her have some space and yourself too - may let her and you calm down and be able to stand back a little and look at it more coolly in a few days. Only you know your situation the best as you are in it and we are not. wish you all the best dealing with it hun Linda xx She did smoke when we met and it didn't bother me at the time at all, but then when i realised i loved her (no soppy comments) and found out her dad died because of it, i realised i didnt want to lose her to the same thing and thats when i started wanting her to stop, and she did for about a year but here we are, her smoking again. oh well i will just have to deal with it and let her make her own mind up about it. Seems stupid to me but im a none smoker so cant really see what its like. Thanks alot Linda. Are you single by the way??? J/K!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 Dude, if you fancy a pint and a chat about this let me know midweek ok Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kieren1234 Posted September 14, 2007 Author Share Posted September 14, 2007 I think the fact that we are both very stressed at the minute does'nt help either. She has just started a new job so has been stressful with that (had no money due to being a month out of work) i start a new job on monday, meant to start uni on 24th Sept but miss the first week due to 2 weeks full time training at new job, then miss second and third week due to going on holiday (we have no spending money properly saved yet for that ). I think the holiday should re kindle the fire i think, well i hope. It will be nice for us both to be in a stress free situation for two weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kieren1234 Posted September 14, 2007 Author Share Posted September 14, 2007 Dude, if you fancy a pint and a chat about this let me know midweek ok I might hold you to that mate, definately the drink, but not the talking about it, i may get choked up and look like a realy woofter :D:D I will be up for a pint somewhere though mate, anyone else from S Yorkshire interested in a mini meet for a drink?? Cheer Rob. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigDino Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 Get yourself to the local brothel or swingers club, you'll soon forget about the arguments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kieren1234 Posted September 14, 2007 Author Share Posted September 14, 2007 Get yourself to the local brothel or swingers club, you'll soon forget about the arguments. HAHA funny you should say that, it happens an old friend from college, his dad owns a strip club near me (Blue Minx) and has always promised free dances and drinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turbonut Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 She did smoke when we met and it didn't bother me at the time at all, but then when i realised i loved her (no soppy comments) and found out her dad died because of it, i realised i didnt want to lose her to the same thing and thats when i started wanting her to stop, and she did for about a year but here we are, her smoking again. oh well i will just have to deal with it and let her make her own mind up about it. Seems stupid to me but im a none smoker so cant really see what its like. Thanks alot Linda. Are you single by the way??? J/K!!! erm, yes but then I've had too many arguements from guys and crap behaviour so decided enough was enough, its just me and the supra....for now One thing tho chap, passive smoking is damaging too, can you put that over to her before she bites your head off? if she loves you back surely she wouldnt want to put you at risk. can she cut down a little?? better than nothing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted September 14, 2007 Share Posted September 14, 2007 I might hold you to that mate, definately the drink, but not the talking about it, i may get choked up and look like a realy woofter :D:D I will be up for a pint somewhere though mate, anyone else from S Yorkshire interested in a mini meet for a drink?? Cheer Rob. Dont worry about choking, you sound like your head needs sorting! We can sort out that fitting on your comp cover too and kill 11 birds with a mere 4 stones (pints of..) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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