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You know how they say you should never mix alocohol and BBQs? Well..erm....


Pete

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So for Vickis birthday we thought we'd have her parents around and have a nice BBQ. All went swimmingly well, the food was perfect, the wine flowed well.

We were sat in the lounge watching an old video from when we were at college when Vicki says "what was that?" There was an odd sound in the back garden.

"Ah nothing" I say.

"Well I'm going to look"...so off she goes..

 

Very shortly afterwards a scream of "Quick quick! Come and look! Quick!" is ringing in my ears.

I simply look up to her parents and say "I think the bin is on fire."

I'm not psychic....I simply reflected on something I did earlier which looking back on it was rather foolish.

 

I went through the kitchen, into the conservatory where flames were reflecting in the glass. It was indeed on fire.

 

Not simply on fire though. Oh no. Raging is probably a more suitable word.

 

Yes.

 

A raging, burning, hot blaze.....In our back garden behind the garage.

 

Whoops! :innocent:

 

Richard, Vickis father had that very evening explained how he used to be in the fire service and was offered the position of Fire Station Chief. His advice was "Have you got a wet blanket?".

Well...let me see now...No.....No I've not got a wet blanket about my person at this moment.

 

Whilst I stand staring at it evaluating the situation Vicki runs into the garage to retrieve the fire extinguisher from the Tiger. I was fairly certain that it wouldn't touch it, so I insist she doesn't use it and to "Relax. Don't worry, it'll be fine."

 

Pat (mother) shouts "Get a bucket!" which I have two to hand. A slow spark starts in my mind. Wheelie bins....they're made of plastic...Hmm...plastic. That's made of oil isn't it? There's a big blazing, bubbling, melty mess of it in the garden with 8 foot flames. Pat grabs the bucket of water and throws it towards it.

 

It made it angry. :blink:

 

Ok...so it doesn't seem to like water. It's roaring away...and the gas boiler is the other side of that wall. Oh dear, oh dear.

 

Thankfully the water did bate it down, and a few more well placed buckets ensured we were left with nothing more than a smouldering pile of molten ex-wheelie bin.

 

What I have learned tonight.

1) Leffe get's you drunk quickly, yet enables you to remain surprisingly calm under pressure.

2) When tidying up afterwards, never ever empty the BBQ ashes into the bin, no matter how cold they seem to be.

3) It's surprising how incredibly compact your rubbish can become after you burn it.

 

 

I'm going enjoy explaining that to the council on Monday when I have to plead for a new Wheelie bin, new Green bin and new Recycling box.

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It should be noted that in fact, grass trimmings on a warm summers night can have a slightly similar effect :p

 

About 5 years ago, i had cut the grass, put the cuttings in the wheelie bin, went to bed.

 

5am knock at the door 'your cars on fire' but it was actually the bin next to it!

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Reminds me of a silly thing a friend said earlier in the week, she'd been listening to the news and asked what the appeal of "bin shrinking" was to teens... I had to explain it was "binge drinking"

 

Anyway prepare for about £200 in costs for new bins, Costco sell them cheaper.

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