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turbonut

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This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was

transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is

currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without

Cause". (This is years old but it's a classic. I hope the guy won his case.)

> > Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.

 

> > Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"

> > Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

> > Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

> > Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words

went away."

> > Operator: "Went away?"

> > Caller: "They disappeared."

> > Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

> > Caller: "Nothing."

> > Operator: "Nothing??"

> > Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

> > Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

> > Caller: "How do I tell?"

> > Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

> > Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

> > Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

> > Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything

I type."

> > Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

> > Caller: "What's a monitor?"

> > Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

> > Caller: "I don't know."

> > Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where

the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

> > Caller: "Yes, I think so."

> > Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's

plugged into the wall.

> > Caller: "Yes, it is."

> > Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there

were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"

> > Caller: "No."

> > Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and

find the other cable."

> > Caller: "Okay, here it is."

> > Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into

the back of your computer."

> > Caller: "I can't reach."

> > Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

> > Caller: "No."

> > Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way

over??"

> > Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's

because it's dark."

> > Operator: "Dark??"

> > Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is

coming in from the window."

> > Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

> > Caller: "I can't."

> > Operator: "No? Why not??"

> > Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

> > Operator: "A power...................................... A power

failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and

manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"

> > Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

> > Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up

just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought

it from."

> > Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

> > Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

> > Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"

> > Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!!!"

>

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It is the techies who make them up to make themselves feel better as 99% of genuine problems they haven't got a clue how to repair

 

 

 

GRRRRR I know how to fix most problems - you turn it off and back on again - dont say I'm not good at my job!!!

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GRRRRR I know how to fix most problems - you turn it off and back on again - dont say I'm not good at my job!!!

 

I think in all my years of dealing with computers and the associated problems, I've can't recall an single incident where restarting hasn't cured it :D

 

Gaz.

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