jamesmark Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 An oldy and probably a repost but I could not care if it is. This guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet shop and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede which came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box back home, found a good location for the box and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the pub to have a drink. So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go down The Queen's Head with me and have a beer?" But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the pub for a drink?" But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to The Queen's Head and have a drink with me?" A little voice came out of the box:........... "I heard you the first time! I'm putting my f***ing shoes on." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juanchan Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Old but still good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grahamc Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Somewhere in the US is a huge mountain. Built into the mountain is a huge blast door many feet thick. It leads to a series of tunnels that, in turn, lead to a lift. This lift travels down through many millions of years of rock and thousand upon thousands of feet. At the bottom is a short corridor leading to a door. Beyond the door is a room. This room is actually filled with concrete. The concrete holds in place a 1000 tonne weight which in turn holds shut a trapdoor. The trapdoor covers a pit in which rests a safe with a 256 bit encrypted electronic lock. On the door of the safe is a warning that it contains the worst joke EVER. Even if you were able to overcome all the obstacles and open the safe you would be killed instantly by the robot Ninja that is the final guardian of the worst joke EVER. Yet, somehow, despite all this, it has landed with Jamesmark! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesmark Posted May 4, 2007 Author Share Posted May 4, 2007 Somewhere in the US is a huge mountain. Built into the mountain is a huge blast door many feet thick. It leads to a series of tunnels that, in turn, lead to a lift. This lift travels down through many millions of years of rock and thousand upon thousands of feet. At the bottom is a short corridor leading to a door. Beyond the door is a room. This room is actually filled with concrete. The concrete holds in place a 1000 tonne weight which in turn holds shut a trapdoor. The trapdoor covers a pit in which rests a safe with a 256 bit encrypted electronic lock. On the door of the safe is a warning that it contains the worst joke EVER. Even if you were able to overcome all the obstacles and open the safe you would be killed instantly by the robot Ninja that is the final guardian of the worst joke EVER. Yet, somehow, despite all this, it has landed with Jamesmark! That would have been funny if I had not heard that before, Good 10 years ago this was also on David Letterman few years back. Although slightly different on what was actually being hidden away. Good attempt though at a copy and paste. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Far cough! I typed that out using the method of fingers impacting keyboard and utilising my imagination. Link to the Letterman piece? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted May 4, 2007 Share Posted May 4, 2007 Somewhere in the US is a huge mountain. Built into the mountain is a huge blast door many feet thick. It leads to a series of tunnels that, in turn, lead to a lift. This lift travels down through many millions of years of rock and thousand upon thousands of feet. At the bottom is a short corridor leading to a door. Beyond the door is a room. This room is actually filled with concrete. The concrete holds in place a 1000 tonne weight which in turn holds shut a trapdoor. The trapdoor covers a pit in which rests a safe with a 256 bit encrypted electronic lock. On the door of the safe is a warning that it contains the worst joke EVER. Even if you were able to overcome all the obstacles and open the safe you would be killed instantly by the robot Ninja that is the final guardian of the worst joke EVER. Yet, somehow, despite all this, it has landed with Jamesmark! Excellent! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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