turbonut Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES Company Policy: Effective from April 2007 Dress Code It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. Sick Days We will no longer accept a doctors statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Annual Leave Days Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday. Toilet Use Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the Chronic offenders category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy. Lunch Break Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation's, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere. lolxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stonkin Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 LOL, thats very funny Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Ian Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 :p Hey where is that Work place ...better conditions than where i am now !! LOL Cheers Ian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turbonut Posted April 23, 2007 Author Share Posted April 23, 2007 I think it should be rolled out nationally lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turbonut Posted April 23, 2007 Author Share Posted April 23, 2007 LOL, thats very funny Linda Hi hun, just checked out your tattoo thread, gona be awesome for sure, yup, your sooo brave! lolx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
p111ddy Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Very good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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