Green Peace Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 Thankyou all for your comments, i know i have to stay strong for beth but it still hurts. Mr Lover - beths is 8 in august - she doesnt know that her dads a drug addict and she wont find out - ive told her the dog is lost. I want to protect her from this - nothing else matters but her. Im so sorry to hear this..seen so many fall by the wayside as a result of crack and other drugs. They never seem to understand its not just their life they screw up..same with alcoholism. If you can find where the dog is Id be happy to chip in with a few of us and buy the dog back...if that were possible! People that deal in drugs and traffic them are the scum of the earth...and this is one of the trade offs of that world...not 'cool' is it!!!!!! (soz about the soapbox bit) So sorry to hear this ...all here for you both! Si Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graham S Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 Dam, is that the bloke i've met a few times? Like everyone has already said, better off without him.. It will only make your love for Beth that bit stronger, and your right, she is better off not knowing why he isn't about, at least till she is old enough to understand why, its always a good way of teaching her the bad side of drugs etc when she reaches that age.. Feeling for ya girl.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henk Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 I don't know what to say, I was shocked reading your post. My best wishes are with you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M4RK RZ Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 Im feeling so low at the moment - the last few weeks have been awful. My daughters dad did a disappearing act - no phonecalls nothing. He was looking after my daughters little dog. My daughter was missing her dad and wanted to see her dog - so i did what i could to try and find him - no one new where he was. Then finally i found a friend of his and he told me he was bang on crack and he had sold the dog for crack. Angry and upset i went to his home that was our home - as i still had a key. I went in - the place is disgusting - mouldy food in the kitchen, filth everywhere and the smell of urine was awful. He had sold anything of value. I got all of my daughters belongings - she is no way ever setting foot in that place again. To think that my ex has turned to this - a weak, disgusting loser. I cant describe how i feel - seeing all this and having to be strong for my daughter who has just lost her dad and her dog. I cant do much about her dad but if anyone sees or knows of a little jack russell called shady - he is black and tan and has a long tail - please let me know. Dude - to some extent I know how you feel ! My mrs sold my dog without even telling me either !! Got home one day and waited for the normal welcome...... nothing I still hate her for doing that. Nasty or what. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jezz Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 Jeeez thats awful! Keep your chin up, but dont think too harshly of your ex. He needs help, as the guys have said drug addiction is a disease and it can happen to anyone that feels low enough to turn to them. I've seen people's lives ruined first hand, and its not nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Geneb Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 that has got to be the worse thing ever not only is the lil girl upset about her dog ,but jack russels are switched on how the hell is the poor dog gonna feel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toyotasuprauk Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 Sorry to hear that it’s shocking the lows people will stoop to for drugs. Its not nice for you to have to think about him in that state but it sounds like you could do much better and hopefully he'll get some help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerous brain Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 Thats terrible - but i know he can get off it - when we first met he did it he cleaned up.... i feel so bad for him even after all he put me through - i still care - i dont know why. I just hope he doesnt end up in a grave. It is very difficult to switch off feelings you've had for someone for so long. Ask anyone thats ever been divorced. It takes ages to shut those pesky feelings of guilt, remorse etc down. If the circumstances are difficult its going to be even harder to get closure on a relationship. Only thing you can do at this point is hope tomorrow will be a better day and go out and try and make it a better day. I won't get into commenting on any addictions as I am not in any informed position to pass comment. Stuff does get better, hell I am even getting married again next month so there is hope for you all Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NINJYA Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 not been able to sleep - so i thought id come back on the forum - all i can say is thankyou - you have all been so nice and supporting - you've brought tears to my eyes. I not going to let this get me down and have made up some fliers for shady, and ive even e-mailed the newbury weekly news - whoever has him may come forward. Ive decided to take beth away to Bournemouth at the weekend - once again thanks - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerous brain Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 Well the weekend is supposed to be nice and as I used to live/return to Bournemouth once a month you are heading in a nice direction. If you want a slightly easier/less busy area try going around to Studland beach (opposite Bournemouth beach with easier parking and way more family orientated) or sandbanks which this time of year will be a bit less deserted. If you want advice on where to take children PM me and I'll get my mrs or my best mates mrs to dig out that sort of info for you (I wouldn't have the first clue what makes for a good childers day out) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NINJYA Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 Thats terrible but your are better far away from that. I think i still have the contact details of a breeder round here who breeds black and tan jack russels if you are looking for another. I have one myself. Thats really nice of you - but i cant replace him, he had such personality - it just wouldnt feel right. Im still gonna try and find him - its awful cos i only lost my doberman to cancer 6mths ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NINJYA Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 Well the weekend is supposed to be nice and as I used to live/return to Bournemouth once a month you are heading in a nice direction. If you want a slightly easier/less busy area try going around to Studland beach (opposite Bournemouth beach with easier parking and way more family orientated) or sandbanks which this time of year will be a bit less deserted. If you want advice on where to take children PM me and I'll get my mrs or my best mates mrs to dig out that sort of info for you (I wouldn't have the first clue what makes for a good childers day out) thanks - we're staying in new milton - which isnt bournemouth - but we will spend sunday in bournemouth. My parents have a mobile home - so its on a holiday camp - arcades, kids disco etc - should be good - for beth anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerous brain Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 You probably think right now you'll never replace your boyfreind but unless you drive yourself into social recluse you will eventually (theres always Ed if you get desperate ). At the mo you are in a difficult place. So for the sake of appearances you should indeed try and get your dog back. Please don't break your heart if you don't get him back though and bear in mind now is actually a very good time to bond with a puppy. Everyone is miserable and a puppy brings with it new life and new dreams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NINJYA Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 im not interested in meeting anyone - ive got to sort my girl out - im a single parent now and all i want is to make sure she grows up well loved and looked after. Maybe in 6mths time ill think about a puppy - i think by then ill be ready for another doberman and beth can have her jack russell. I really miss going out dog walking - we use to walk for miles- its not the same with no dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerous brain Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 I did mean in the long term lol. As for a puppy you may surprise yourself and get one sooner than later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lambertpig Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 I am really sorry to read this Ninjya and hope that your daughter gets over it quickly. In saying that, I am not going to jump on the bandwagon of castigating your ex. Addictions in any form are a terrible disease and until people walk in those shoes then they really should not comment. i have to agree with you on this one. addictions are evil things and cocaine is one of the worst. i have seen 2 freinds both over 40 years old both good earning 40-50k a year,home owners destroy there lives. one is in prison here and one is in malta awaiting trail for attempting to smuggle drugs for his own use.these people were not scum and there downfall has been a tragedy to watch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martin_a Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 Does he not know who he sold it to? Failing that got tough with him and get him done for theft. The dog wasn't his to sell. See if the police can get it back. Might be a blessing in disguise if a court slaps a drug treatment order on him. good luck. m. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dibbleyuk Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 Sorry to hear your bad news, My dad turned out to be a big loser soon as i his 18 i relised it and know i better off without him. well done for what you have done protecting you little girl. Goodluck finding the little dog aswell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGav Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 Ninjya... Since the weather is good, why don't you and beth head down to the new forest and go camping. It is a cheap weekend away, and some of the camp sites are lovely... We did at the beginning of this month and it is so relaxing.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stonkin Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 really sorry to hear this Ninja. I know you've had a tough time lately with things and i'm sure this is just adding to it. Keep your chin up girl, if the guys wants to thrown his life away then thats his choice, at least you dont need to be directly part of it, although i'm sure its very hard on your daughter to understand. Just be there for her, she is your primary concern now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraStar 3000 Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 Kinda puts things into perspective, doesn't it guys? I'm really sorry and hope it all works out for you. Good luck, and keep well away from that losser. (theres always Ed if you get desperate ). Yes. I'm still available to a good home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 I've written two replies and not posted them to this thread now, but can't hold my fingers any longer. I have no sympathy for anyone that messes with Class A drugs. There's good reason they're outlawed and why will never even try one out of curiosity. I'm sensible enough to think, "what if I liked it?" To avoid destroying your life (and the others around you), just don't even try it! I do not feel the same about people that fall foul to alcoholism, smoking and other legalised social drugs. Sorry, but I just cannot bring myself to feel sorry for anyone that can't get over an addiction they shouldn't have had access to start in the first instance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 I agree with Pete... though I don't have much sympathy on the smoking/alcohol thing either... we're all adults after all? It's a horrible story, and even more terrifying when it's close to home like this... feel really sorry for you and your daughter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kranz Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 This is bad, however at least he's out of the picture... and I hope for you & your daughter that its for good. I have seen so many people's lived destroyed by this kind of thing. The addict doesn't necessarily know or care what they're doing to those that love them or those around them, they can only see as far as the next fix.... however many hours that may be away. Eventually the good people around them give up trying to help them, normally after many years of lies, deceit, lending and being stolen from. This leaves the addict with only 'friends' of the same kind, some of which will literally stab them in the back for their next fix (been there, seen that & stuck my fingers in the hole to stop them bleeding to death). The only thing you can hope for is that they decide to come off it, and have enough willpower and support to manage it. Some people, however, can manage to hold down a good job, maintain a family life and still do their smack/crack or pot. To some degree it depends on the person, their lifestyle and how they go about it. It sounds like your ex is one of the majority that is on the downward spiral to self destruction. You need to be strong for your daughter and whatever happens just remember that it was his choice and its not in any way your fault or responsibility. There's normally nothing people can do when loved ones WANT to be constantly off their heads, that's their choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest NINJYA Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 Does he not know who he sold it to? Failing that got tough with him and get him done for theft. The dog wasn't his to sell. See if the police can get it back. Might be a blessing in disguise if a court slaps a drug treatment order on him. good luck. m. the thing is i cant find him - his mobiles off - i only know all this through a mate of his. He apparently was going to tell me the dog ran away. I have asked his friend to find out who he sold shady to. I have e-mailed the thamesvalley police to see where i stand. Hes been to prison before so it wont take much for him to go back in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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