Dragonlady Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 Excerpts from a dog's Diary 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! Excerpts from a Cat's Diary Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edd_t Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 haha i like that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DamanC Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraStar 3000 Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 that made me laugh out loud at work! LOL and so true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supragal Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 nice one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 so true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheefa Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 Sounds like my dog, and iv been tellin y'all that cats are evil! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewOW Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 Good posting. Feel for you Greg. Chin up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheefa Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 Good posting. Feel for you Greg. Chin up Thought it was getting better, but being in the house today is a right downer. Thanks mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cable Posted April 17, 2007 Share Posted April 17, 2007 lol, I liked that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cable Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 sorry to hear about your dog Greg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silvershark44 Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 lol very funny, but our cat is so bloody lazy she does nothing but sleep all day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisSZ Posted April 18, 2007 Share Posted April 18, 2007 LOL You missed "6:00pm: Licked my balls whilst the people ate dinner - my favorite thing!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.