TT-DEK Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Don,t turn up, and come to POD with us?? Then who cares!! what your speech is like, You could start with that old one, The groom is allways lucky. He won a sweet competition recently, his prize was the weight of his cock in sweets!! and wanted to know where to send his tic-tac too, I,ll get my coat:( :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted April 19, 2007 Author Share Posted April 19, 2007 Is that your best joke Derek!! Bumpy Bumpy Bump Bump!! H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golddigga Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 'I think you will all agree with me that the bridesmaids look lovely......If I were you I'd use them next time' 'When I was asked to be best man it was then I realised that (insert mates name) really didn't have any friends' And here is one I actually used at my brothers wedding... 'I wasn't the first choice to be best man, however being close my brother did ask me for some advice. I told him that your best man had to be someone that had seen you through the good and bad times, someone that really knew you and someone that you really cared about. He thought for a moment and then with a smile on his face made his suggestion.....I then broke it to him gently that although his suggestion met all of the criteria, unfortunately the flaw in his plan was that an inflatable sheep couldn't talk' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesmark Posted April 19, 2007 Share Posted April 19, 2007 "It was an honour and privilage to be XXXX best man, and he has told me that if I do a good job that I will be his best man next time." Aslo this one http://www.thebestmanspeech.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golddigga Posted April 20, 2007 Share Posted April 20, 2007 How about 'If all brides are beautiful where do ugly wives come from? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted April 20, 2007 Author Share Posted April 20, 2007 Thanks for your replies peeps!! I am almost sorted and prepared for the big day! Apparently my mate was tied to a fence by the lads at work with his pants round his ankles yesterday.!! He's got cuts and bruises all over his arms from trying to fight off the mob that tied him up..... I will go easy on him tonight...............probably...... H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted April 22, 2007 Author Share Posted April 22, 2007 Well it's all over and that was that!! Got really nervous before the speech and was given a microphone which made things a little more daunting. I don't have a copy of the speech as I used bullet points to remind me of stories and jokes etc. I felt it went very well but there were an lot of elderly people there who were fooking miserable!! It was a bit weird...all the people within about 20 yards of me were pissing thier sides but towards the back of the room there was almost complete silence. My mate knows the camera man at the do and he said he's done 100's of weddings and he thought the speech was very good but I had a really bad audience!! Thanks for your advice guys! One thing that has dawned on me though is that a good sheep shagging gag always goes down a treat!! H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MARTIN R Posted April 22, 2007 Share Posted April 22, 2007 glad it went off without a hitch:d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garetheves Posted April 22, 2007 Share Posted April 22, 2007 Glad it went ok lad, i did actually pass the church yesterday while people were arriving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted April 22, 2007 Author Share Posted April 22, 2007 Glad it went ok lad, i did actually pass the church yesterday while people were arriving. You should have popped in mate!! I was the one with the bald head....... H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkTheBoy Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Glad it all went well mate, i've got the same 'honour' in about 3 weeks. Shitting myself... and this is the second time ive had to do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted April 23, 2007 Author Share Posted April 23, 2007 Glad it all went well mate, i've got the same 'honour' in about 3 weeks. Shitting myself... and this is the second time ive had to do it. Mark, if you need any help at all......................keep well away from me! In fairness, I had an easy gig. Although there were a lot of oxygen theives, there were only a handful of people who know me well. All the others were complete strangers and that took a bit of pressure off. I must admit though, I wouldn't fancy doing it again for a while!! H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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