Havard Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 I am going to be the best man at a wedding on Saturday! I have the majority of my speech mapped out but I don't have many jokes that are wedding related.... I am not usually stuck for a joke or one liner but after looking at some websites the quality of the jokes are a bit lame!! Can any of you guys give me some advice or tell me some of the best jokes you've heard at weddings or put me onto a decent site?? Problem is that the average age of the congregation won't be that young so dirty jokes are out of the question.... Thanks H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Massey Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 good luck with the search mate,i feel sorry for you,iv had to di it before and it wasnt pleasant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 http://www.hitched.co.uk/speeches/examples/index.asp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Phillw454 Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 No help here sorry. Best of luck with it though!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistonbroke Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Good one I used was, 'Speeches should be like miniskirts, short enough to keep you interested, but long enough to cover the essentials' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveK Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 I guess it doesn't help you much - but I find that the solution is to have no friends. Then you're never asked to be best man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil tt Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 'Speeches should be like miniskirts, short enough to keep you interested, but long enough to cover the essentials' Thats very good:d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Try not to swear too much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveK Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 I attended a wedding once where the best man used his speech to tell us about a time when the groom spent a night in jail. Judging from his parents reaction, I'd steer clear of doing anything like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 'Speeches should be like miniskirts, short enough to keep you interested, but long enough to cover the essentials' Thats very good:d We went to a wedding a few months ago and the best man was also the brother of the groom and spent probably 30mins completely rubbishing him and then the rest of the time talking about how wonderful he (himself) was. I wish I had it on video, I could start giving lessons on how to not to do a best man's speech. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted April 16, 2007 Author Share Posted April 16, 2007 good luck with the search mate,i feel sorry for you,iv had to di it before and it wasnt pleasant I am quite looking forward to it tbh..... Good one I used was, 'Speeches should be like miniskirts, short enough to keep you interested, but long enough to cover the essentials' Like that I might add that one, thanks PB. I guess it doesn't help you much - but I find that the solution is to have no friends. Then you're never asked to be best man. Can't wait to meet you Dave, that comment makes me think that you're a popular as a fart in a space suit... http://www.hitched.co.uk/speeches/examples/index.asp Thanks Michael but that is one of the sites that didn't do much for me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted April 16, 2007 Author Share Posted April 16, 2007 Try not to swear too much. As if I would do such a thing..... H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 At my mates wedding, the father of the bride did a comedy speach about 'The lovely guy my daughter met, kind and considerate, passionate and loving.....sadly then she met this guy' Had us all chuckling! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil tt Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 One thing to remember don't drink to much, well at least until you have finished all your duties:d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colsoop Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 I think maximum embarrasement laid on the groom is always good Drunken mishaps, conquests etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 At one of Mike's friend's weddings the father of the bride described the first time he met mike's friends as similar to buying 'a comfy pair of slippers' safe, reliable etc...boring in other words - how we laughed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 "Apparently you could hear them in Nairobi!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted April 16, 2007 Author Share Posted April 16, 2007 "Apparently you could hear them in Nairobi!" Thats a classic Jake!! Love that punchline but does anybody know the joke....... H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistonbroke Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 My mate also, instead of rabitting on too long making it uncomfortable for everyone there, he had pictures of me from years before, including some lads holiday snaps of me wearing a skirt etc etc. He had loads printed up then handed out envelopes containing the snaps to all the tables. It had people in stitches for hours. They even made their way into my work place and got put up on notice borads all around work. You have to make sure the groom can take a joke though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveK Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 You have to make sure the groom can take a joke though. If he can't, I suspect he's already made his mistake when he chose his best man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted April 16, 2007 Author Share Posted April 16, 2007 If he can't, I suspect he's already made his mistake when he chose his best man. I think he know he's made a mistake already. Unfortunately for him I can't resist an opportunity to take the piss. I am just a bit worried about upsetting the masses!! My version of funny isn't usually everyone elses!! H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted April 16, 2007 Author Share Posted April 16, 2007 bump!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chewie Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Good one I used was, 'Speeches should be like miniskirts, short enough to keep you interested, but long enough to cover the essentials' Sorry to say this Dan. Please please please DO NOT use this one. This one gets used zillions of times. It's the equivalent of the English, the Scotsman and the Irishman of Bestman speeches. I've done the dirty deed twice and the number of times I had mates come up and say use this ... Remember unless you're use to public speaking it's alright to have a 'bad' speech. Nobody will do you for it. It's ok to be nervous. A good speech is exceptional. A brilliant speech unheard of. Except mine. Now let me tell you about the time we ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraStar 3000 Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Undo your fly, pop-out Havard Jr. and continue with the speech. Nobody will care what you say and your guaranteed a good laugh and memorable time. Sorry, that didn't help,... did it? Your a naturaly funny guy, so don't worry about it. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted April 16, 2007 Author Share Posted April 16, 2007 Undo your fly, pop-out Havard Jr. and continue with the speech. Nobody will care what you say and your guaranteed a good laugh and memorable time. Sorry, that didn't help,... did it? Your a naturaly funny guy, so don't worry about it. Good luck Thanks Ed, that is nice to hear mate!! Beer for you at JAE courstesy of H..... H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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