dangerous brain Posted March 30, 2007 Share Posted March 30, 2007 Im jealous...actually shes a really good driver, just directionally challenged. Yeah she's great she's gone out on the p*ss and left me here to forum up all night to my hearts content Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyP Posted March 30, 2007 Share Posted March 30, 2007 I traded my wife in for my supra.Good deal if you ask me. Given up on women!! They're way too needy!! If you know what I mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerous brain Posted March 30, 2007 Share Posted March 30, 2007 Yeah I traded my wife in for a lot less hassle and a woman that loved my supra. Only problem was our incessant love making created a small beast that wants its own seat and is now getting too heavy to lift into the back of a supra. So off it went. My aristo though aint a slouch and makes up in places for my supra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted March 30, 2007 Share Posted March 30, 2007 My wife has a 90% perfect score! Beautiful looking, big boobs, good job, huge salary, BMW coupe and absolutely no common sense!! Offences include - driving into stationary objects on 4 occasions, has a thing about empty packets going back into cupboards (very frustrating, as you think you've got the last bag of crisps.... ). Will fill a kettle to the brim for 1 brew, cannot enter a room without switching the light on even in broad daylight. Has no sense of direction at all too And finally, (she'll kill me for this) she doesn't do other toilets!! She will drive home from work during her lunch break to take a dump.... 45 Min break - 20 mins home - 20 mins back!! Went on holiday, did 5 days without dropping anchor?? WTF..! I can't do 5 hours.... H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerous brain Posted March 30, 2007 Share Posted March 30, 2007 Thats normal female behaviour mate. Does she also switch tellies on in every room but have no idea what is actually on any of them? Put the heating on max, leave the front door wide open and then complain its freezing? Get a shit on at you when you point out she left the car/front door/ anything else important unlocked/open all night and its a wonder the thing is still there this morning? Reboil said kettle 5 times before making a cup of coffee that they only drink one mouthfull from? I'm sure I will remember more Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Thats normal female behaviour mate. Does she also switch tellies on in every room but have no idea what is actually on any of them? Put the heating on max, leave the front door wide open and then complain its freezing? Get a shit on at you when you point out she left the car/front door/ anything else important unlocked/open all night and its a wonder the thing is still there this morning? Reboil said kettle 5 times before making a cup of coffee that they only drink one mouthfull from? I'm sure I will remember more Yep!! All of the above.... H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerous brain Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 What about complaining you never talk anymore but sushes you every time you ask her a question when said telly in any room is on ie any time she is not asleep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerous brain Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Wakes up and gets a real big nark on when you turn off said telly because she is snoring??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Ok!! Calm down mate.... H. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerous brain Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Expects to be taken out to dinner but never reciprocates I mean I aint gay but when did she last buy me flowers?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerous brain Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Nah you got me goin now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 And I have conclusive proof that the Isle of Dogs is actually a few miles south of Southsea:) When I worked for my old man on the Isle Of Wight (20 years ago) he owned a tyre business which was opposite the main IoW ParcelForce depot. You should have seen it in there. It was an Aladdin's Cave of stuff that was supposed to have gone to the Isle Of Man, Isle Of Dogs, Isle Of Sheppy, Isle Of Arran, etc etc but had somehow got sent to the Isle Of Wight by mistake. The guys that worked there never bothered sending anything back. Their attitude was that nobody could prove it had ended up there by mistake. They used to open it up and nick anything good and the rest was just piled up there for ever afterwards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerous brain Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 PMSL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerous brain Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 When I worked for my old man on the Isle Of Wight (20 years ago) he owned a tyre business which was opposite the main IoW ParcelForce depot. You should have seen it in there. It was an Aladdin's Cave of stuff that was supposed to have gone to the Isle Of Man, Isle Of Dogs, Isle Of Sheppy, Isle Of Arran, etc etc but had somehow got sent to the Isle Of Wight by mistake. The guys that worked there never bothered sending anything back. Their attitude was that nobody could prove it had ended up there by mistake. They used to open it up and nick anything good and the rest was just piled up there for ever afterwards. I know I always thought that the isle of arran was off the coast of scotland Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 It is. It's right opposite The Mull Of Kintyre actually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pot Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 *Is now too scared to get a missus...* You may have done me a favour Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangerous brain Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 *Is now too scared to get a missus...* You may have done me a favour Nah mate you can't abuse yourself forever (you'll get sores ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted March 31, 2007 Author Share Posted March 31, 2007 All the above plus... Records some crap programme then goes out the room every 15 minutes, comes back in after 'doing things' for ten minutes and rewinds what shes missed. Takes a call from her sister while we are watching a film and turns the volume off while they talk womens stuff for half an hour. Records the Sky programme guide for the maximum 8 hours, runs out of HD space so deletes my stuff to make room for Americas Next Pop Idol. Rings me at work to spend half an hour telling me stuff she tells me all over again when I get home a couple of hours later. Makes sure my nasal cavities are clean every morning before I leave for work. Love her to bits really:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pot Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Nah mate you can't abuse yourself forever (you'll get sores ) Oh... Bugger... And I thought my steering wheel was getting smooth... Less self gratification = better car control Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Records the Sky programme guide for the maximum 8 hours, runs out of HD space so deletes my stuff to make room for Americas Next Pop Idol. Bung a bigger hard disk in it then. A 160gig disk will give you like 8x the storage you have now. Rings me at work to spend half an hour telling me stuff she tells me all over again when I get home a couple of hours later. They all do that. My best mate does it too. And when he's had a drink there's no stopping him once he starts saying something. I'll say "Yeah, you already told me about that" but he just carries on regardless and then gets the arse when I just walk off midway though him telling the story again. Makes sure my nasal cavities are clean every morning before I leave for work. What? Why? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted March 31, 2007 Author Share Posted March 31, 2007 Bung a bigger hard disk in it then. A 160gig disk will give you like 8x the storage you have now It is 160 gig...she just does it over and over again. What? Why? To check I havent any bogies....its just something she does Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pot Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 It is 160 gig...she just does it over and over again. Mate, I've done too many fat birds, learn a lesson, and please don't boast about it yeah?... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted March 31, 2007 Author Share Posted March 31, 2007 To check I havent any bogies....its just something she does Mind you, as I'm 6'2" and shes 4'10", I dont suppose she can help looking up my nose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kranz Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 My other half just throws things away.... There has to be a bin bag full every day or else there's trouble I put something down mid use and it either gets filed away in that unknown place that I've never seen it but ought to know that its where it belongs! Either that or it gets binned. I swear she buys things to just throw them away...,I've found stuff on my regular bin dives that still has the tags on from the shops I once put the bin bags out at the end of the drive and found one was just a bit too heavy to believe. Turns out she'd found 8 bricks to put in it.... probably to up the weight to the daily requirement?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 My ex-GF was like that, apart from it was only my stuff she'd throw out. I eventually realised she was trying to throw out all my clothes that I had bought before I was with her. One time she gave my bike leathers to some guy she worked with! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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