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The mkiv Supra Owners Club

More I.T. 'funnies'.


RedM

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Allegedly from BT Home helpdesk:

 

Customer: “My mouse mat isn’t wired up”

Advisor: “I’m not sure I understand, your mouse mat shouldn’t have any wires.”

Customer: “well how does it know where my mouse is? Is it wireless?”

 

Advisor: “Press any key to continue.”

Customer: “I can’t find the ‘Any’ key.”

 

Customer: “I keep getting inappropriate pop-ups on my computer and don’t want my wife to think that it’s me.”

Advisor: “I will remove them for you.”

Customer: “How do I get them back when she is not in?”

 

Customer: “I met a man on the internet, can you give me his phone number?”

 

Advisor: “You have spyware on your machine which is causing the problem.”

Customer: “Spyware? Can they see me getting dressed through the monitor?”

 

Customer: “How do I change channel on my monitor?”

Advisor: “Your monitor won’t have channels like a TV.”

Customer: “But I was watching the internet channel the other day and now I just get the word processing channel.”

 

Advisor: “Can you click on ‘My Computer’?”

Customer: “I don’t have your computer, just mine.”

 

Customer: “My 14 year-old son has put a password on my computer and I can’t get in.”

Advisor: “Has he forgotten it?”

Customer: “No he just won’t tell me it because I’ve grounded him.”

 

Customer: “I have lost my work.”

Advisor: “Let’s see if we can get your documents back for you?”

Customer: “You don’t understand, I’ve lost my job and I want to get on to the internet to find a new one.”

 

Customer: “My internet isn’t working”

Advisor: “What modem are you using, is everything connected up?”

Customer: “No I haven’t taken the computer or the modem out of their boxes yet!”

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