jamesmark Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and,gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing,tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Darling, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, And today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, Vaseline and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graham S Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 :rlol: :rlol: :rlol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ric Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 hahahah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Headroom Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 I'm sat here crying with laughter, classic!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesmark Posted February 1, 2007 Author Share Posted February 1, 2007 How many people can relate to this? well not the pushing giblets up your rectum but the, eyes watering and gasping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gzaerojon Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 kin brilliant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silvershark44 Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 lol, thats quite funny actually! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Excellent Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Gross. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Geneb Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Lmfao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havard Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Just shown this to my wife. She is crying laughing!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 How many people can relate to this? well not the pushing giblets up your rectum but the, eyes watering and gasping. Not me I have to fart outside on the landing - I get up at 5.30am on a weekday and make the wife breakfast in bed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steb9780 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Quality Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesmark Posted February 2, 2007 Author Share Posted February 2, 2007 I get up at 5.30am on a weekday and make the wife breakfast in bed! No that is something I can relate too, then spend 30mins trying to get her up, and she has the cheek to moan when I have a long lie on Saturday and Sunday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kookoocachu Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 lmao! this joke has made my day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheefa Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Oh I frequently let rip. Often, my girlfriend and I play guessing games - i.e. what have I eaten for dinner following a discharge of aromatic gas. I think the worst so far has been Chicken Fajitas and Satay sticks too. She was not best pleased at those two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesmark Posted February 2, 2007 Author Share Posted February 2, 2007 Oh I frequently let rip. Often, my girlfriend and I play guessing games - i.e. what have I eaten for dinner following a discharge of aromatic gas. I think the worst so far has been Chicken Fajitas and Satay sticks too. She was not best pleased at those two. Your needing looked at mate not your arse but your head! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul ashton Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Marvelhouse! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2JG Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 that brilliant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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