iain2010 Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer wont be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything. Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure. He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lions cage because lions eat anything. Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like here?" The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustGav Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Hahahahaha, very amusing, meets all the criteria for a joke on here at the moment.... *grin* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DamanC Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain2010 Posted December 15, 2006 Author Share Posted December 15, 2006 Heres another!! A new US Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Iraq desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. "Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women. And sometimes the men have "urges". That's why we have Molly The Camel." The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about "urges". The camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having his own "urges" and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane sex with Molly. When he's done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" No not really, sir... "They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobbeh Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Su-bloody-perb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Prawn Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 There are people on here that would take great pleasure in telling you that was a repost. Not me though because although they are both very old jokes they are still two of the funniest. Nearly as good as the rabbits Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain2010 Posted December 15, 2006 Author Share Posted December 15, 2006 There are people on here that would take great pleasure in telling you that was a repost. Not me though because although they are both very old jokes they are still two of the funniest. Nearly as good as the rabbits The rabbits?!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Prawn Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 The rabbits?!? You don't know the rabbit joke? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain2010 Posted December 15, 2006 Author Share Posted December 15, 2006 You don't know the rabbit joke? No! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Prawn Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 No! Sorry but I've already done the Friday joke, and it's in my contract that it's one funny a week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain2010 Posted December 15, 2006 Author Share Posted December 15, 2006 Sorry but I've already done the Friday joke, and it's in my contract that it's one funny a week. lol thats ok! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Prawn Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 lol thats ok! Might do it next week Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spidermonkey Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 i went to a zoo the other week, it only had one dog........ it was a shitzhu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Prawn Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 i went to a zoo the other week, it only had one dog........ it was a shitzhu Please leave the site now Before you are embarassed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iain2010 Posted December 15, 2006 Author Share Posted December 15, 2006 i went to a zoo the other week, it only had one dog........ it was a shitzhu lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobbeh Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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