Jump to content
The mkiv Supra Owners Club

Do you live in a chavtown ?


jase_93tt

Recommended Posts

It's just students ranting on isn't it?

 

Can someone tell me about the idyllic 'nice' town where the grass is greener, everyone gets on, low crime etc.

 

I've lived all over the place and there are many reasons why you could describe anywhere as a shit hole...

 

I'm finding that site slightly poisonous... it's very hateful, and not at all funny?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I found this write up for my home town :blink:

Unfortunately most of it is true :(

 

EXMOUTH & DAWLISH, DEVON - THE COSTA DEL CHAV

 

 

Along the sunny Devon coast lies a nest of such dense chavviness it taints the name of an otherwise Perfect County (well if you forget, as we all should, the existence of Plymouth). For dangerously close together lie Exmouth and its rancid neon clad sister (through incest)

Dawlish.

 

 

I shall not bring myself to discuss Dawlish in any depth here as its Sunday, I’m of fragile stomach and the memories are all too painful. I shall stick to what I know best and describe to you the delights of a town where there are 2 pizza shops to every family, where parole officers are invited to the wedding receptions of their criminal counterparts (in the

Banqueting suite) where a legitimate reason for a taxi rank brawl is who took the last of the chilli sauce in Munchies, Mr Munchies or Mrs Munchies, and where (and this is fact) a 16 year old girl got married in her school lunch break to an illegal immigrant and her tutor (guardian of her virtue) signed the paperwork as her witness then paid for a reception in chameleons cafe.

 

 

 

I finished my sentence in Exmouth some four years ago (and no I was not a student) like Frodo shielding his ring I scurried out of the mordor

That is Exmouth town centre clinging onto the tatters of my self respect. For three years I inhabited that hole so loved by tourists for its beautiful sandy beach peppered with syringes and condoms disgarded in the throws of passion during post-sams (nightclub) "dunes" action with marines commandos.

 

 

 

During my stay in Exmouth I fully immersed myself (unknowingly at the time) in the chav culture. working in a town centre bar meant I was literally on the front line of the chav bombardment that has the town bursting at the seems on a weekend. I was often concussed by

the overwhelming stench of Charlie Red and Tommy Hilfiger as Ben Sherman clad wankers would thrust a fiver at me and ask for an Iron Brew "Wicked".

 

 

 

I even went to the lengths of dating a chav in order to fit in as with my plummy accent I stuck out like a Genuine Louis Vuitton handbag in the Exmouth Indoor Market. For four months it was an endless blissful rollercoaster of rides in escorts with lowered suspension,

endless KFC suppers and visits to the RD and E (Exeter Hospital) nursing many a broken cheekbone, nose, eyebrow.

 

I once shared the dream that many Exmothians harbour that one day

I too might be one of those mums in Peacocks scratching for coppers to buy my seven kids school uniforms as my husband slurps 6X in the Heavitree. My ex even got down on one knee in Sams and arranged for the fairground compere DJ to pop the question to which at one stage in my life and despite absence of ring and a promise of a trip to Elizabeth Duke (@ ARGOS!) I was actually flattered!

 

 

 

Eventually though despite all the wonderful encounters listed above I decided to leave the stench of take aways (how many?!) and people of the scummiest order I have ever encountered (and I have lived in Bristol, London and Plymouth - I know my Chavs) and I made a run for

it. I remember thinking as the sun hit the singular platform at Exmouth Train Station that if I look back I might even miss this place so daringly I took a glance in the general town direction and instead of a farewell banner, a couple canoodling beside the arcades, a happy

pensioner being helped through the subway by a group of young males, instead I saw a Subaru Impreza being marvelled at through the KFC window not by individual chavs but chav families holding it up as something to aspire to while tucking into an Exmouth sunday lunch (Bargain Bucket). I got the fuck out of there and never looked back.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. You might also be interested in our Guidelines, Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.