dazla Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 well i went out in Blackburn once. I did the dentist chair in some pub, for those of you who don't know what that is. its lying in a real dentist chair while the DJ pores takila and lime down your neck for as long as possible. well i did 20 seconds and i was instantly pissed out of my brains. i jumped on the bar and did a strip tease was really good though because all the birds was loving it. probably because i had gone commando Anyway i came out of the pub and collapsed. My mates through me in a black cab and some how i got home. I'd gone straight to the toilet to spew up and put my arms around the bog and sat back and pulled the toilet out of the floor. there was water everywhere. not to mention sick[OOPS][/OOPS] __________________ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul ashton Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Woke up in the middle of the night and apparently was spitting into my daughters cot when she was a baby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rik Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 When i was about 15, i got wrecked at the village disco. Parents weren't happy and wanted to take me home, but i managed to gather my stash of cider and lager and high tailed it into the darkness across the football pitch bevvys in hand. Unfortunately the five aside goal posts were left out and are at perfect head hight. I ran straight into those mothers and layed myself out cold. Woke up at home with a double headache Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Went to an all night Perverts and Poseurs party in Twyford when I was a student. Dressed as a prostitute, complete with heels, makeup and wig. Getting pissed was expected and safe as I intended to stay over. Dont remember much after sledging down the garden on an upturned 2CV. I woke up in a field, surrounded by pigs, my KH250 lying a few feet away, pretty beat up. I stood up and realised I'd attempted riding home sometime the night before, but shot straight across the main road, up the embankment Evil Knievel stylee, and splattered myself into a pig field. My bin liner mini skirt was gone, my false boobs were round the back and I'd broken a heel. The ride home with a badly buckled front wheel, bent handlebars and lime green nylon y-fronts staring drivers in the face was slow, painful and embarassing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Walker Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 My bin liner mini skirt was gone, my false boobs were round the back and I'd broken a heel. The ride home with a badly buckled front wheel, bent handlebars and lime green nylon y-fronts staring drivers in the face was slow, painful and embarassing. Thats a good one Gaz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbieg Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Went to an all night Perverts and Poseurs party in Twyford when I was a student. Dressed as a prostitute, complete with heels, makeup and wig. Getting pissed was expected and safe as I intended to stay over. Dont remember much after sledging down the garden on an upturned 2CV. I woke up in a field, surrounded by pigs, my KH250 lying a few feet away, pretty beat up. I stood up and realised I'd attempted riding home sometime the night before, but shot straight across the main road, up the embankment Evil Knievel stylee, and splattered myself into a pig field. My bin liner mini skirt was gone, my false boobs were round the back and I'd broken a heel. The ride home with a badly buckled front wheel, bent handlebars and lime green nylon y-fronts staring drivers in the face was slow, painful and embarassing. man you win so far !!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraStar 3000 Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Went to an all night Perverts and Poseurs party in Twyford when I was a student. Dressed as a prostitute, complete with heels, makeup and wig. Getting pissed was expected and safe as I intended to stay over. Dont remember much after sledging down the garden on an upturned 2CV. I woke up in a field, surrounded by pigs, my KH250 lying a few feet away, pretty beat up. I stood up and realised I'd attempted riding home sometime the night before, but shot straight across the main road, up the embankment Evil Knievel stylee, and splattered myself into a pig field. My bin liner mini skirt was gone, my false boobs were round the back and I'd broken a heel. The ride home with a badly buckled front wheel, bent handlebars and lime green nylon y-fronts staring drivers in the face was slow, painful and embarassing. PMSL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SupraStar 3000 Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 A long long time ago,.... With no cash and after trying to convince a bus driver to take me home for free I gave up, said my farewells to my palls and started the long and lonely walk home. The bus depot was coincedently across the road from a friends house but in the opposite direction to me. What happened next remains a mystery, but with the bus comandired, my mate drove off into the night looking for me. I pissed myself laughing when he pulled up and said "hiya bud, I'll take you home". I got home, the bus was retured and everybody lived happily ever after! THE END Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazla Posted October 1, 2006 Author Share Posted October 1, 2006 me and a mate of mine had been out on a all dayer. That night i had to walk him to his house at the top of the street as he is one of them people who will wonder the streets till all hours. Anyway i went and knocked on for him the morning after and his mum said. "get up stairs and sort him out now!!!". So i went upstairs and walk in his room and was knocked back by the smell. He had his arms stuck in his trousers and he had a dump on his stereo turn table that was on the floor. i was heaving my guts out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edd_t Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 these are great... heres mine. I was about 19, and we went out in Chelsmford, did a few bars then got into a club at about 10 (free entry at that time and i was a student) it was also 80's night! and all drinks were 80p! class. so my rounds pretty much consisted of a bottle of Metz and a rum chaser! next thing i know im doing the hokey cokey, and i head butt some blonde. then i fall asleep on a speaker (cant remember anything more than that in the club) but i was escorted out of the club by 2 bouncers. i somehow managed to call my bro to come pic me up. heres the scary part! the next thing i know, im lying in the gutter of the road infront of a bus stop, in my own puke (nice) having my face cleaned by a german man!!!!!!!! I didnt drink alcohol for about 6 months after that night! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jase_93tt Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Nowt to say. Too pissed to recall anything Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeordieSteve Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Long one but a good one A few years back, me and my boss were working down in the midlands. We went out and had a big mental night out and ended up completely hammered! I got up during the night to go to the toilet but because I was so smashed and still almost asleep I couldn't find the toilet. No problem I thought... I'll nip to the bosses room and use his toilet. SO off I went... down the corridor, through reception, along another corridor and knocked on the door. The door opened and I rushed in and started to do what I had to do. Next think I heard "erm... excuse me" and I started waking up. I looked around the corner to find a strange man in bed covering himself up with his sheets. I'd got the wrong hotel room... and I was also stark bollock naked! I waved goodnight and made my way back through reception and back to my room. We're not welcome back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazla Posted October 1, 2006 Author Share Posted October 1, 2006 these are superb. sat here with a big grin on my face. my girlfriend must think I'm a right weirdo[GRIN][/GRIN] keep them coming Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Walker Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 I looked around the corner to find a strange man in bed covering himself up with his sheets. That old chestnut Steve Gaz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 My wifes 50th birthday. Weekend in London, evening meal at Gary Rhodes restaurant, the Cumberland Hotel. She starts to lose it just before desert. Off to the loo she goes, comes back toward the table with her dress tucked into her nickers, staggers straight past me and tells a woman at another table that 'she was sat in her chair, could she please leave her husband alone'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pig Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 A couple of years back at uni me and some mates went on an all dayer! Half way through the day we thought it would be a great idea to go out in his dads speed boat. Then it was a great idea to go water skiing. My mate got all ready and i went to start the boat (absolutly fucked at this point) and did something wrong that fludded the engine We ended up having to dial 999 to get towed home as we were drifting out to sea. Then went out clubbing with the lifeboat men...what a day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUPRALOOPY Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 I've got far too many to tell...so not even going there!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittyclaws Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 Went to an all night Perverts and Poseurs party in Twyford when I was a student. Dressed as a prostitute, complete with heels, makeup and wig. Getting pissed was expected and safe as I intended to stay over. Dont remember much after sledging down the garden on an upturned 2CV. I woke up in a field, surrounded by pigs, my KH250 lying a few feet away, pretty beat up. I stood up and realised I'd attempted riding home sometime the night before, but shot straight across the main road, up the embankment Evil Knievel stylee, and splattered myself into a pig field. My bin liner mini skirt was gone, my false boobs were round the back and I'd broken a heel. The ride home with a badly buckled front wheel, bent handlebars and lime green nylon y-fronts staring drivers in the face was slow, painful and embarassing. Just a normal night for you then lol My wifes 50th birthday. Weekend in London, evening meal at Gary Rhodes restaurant, the Cumberland Hotel. She starts to lose it just before desert. Off to the loo she goes, comes back toward the table with her dress tucked into her nickers, staggers straight past me and tells a woman at another table that 'she was sat in her chair, could she please leave her husband alone'. lol,,,, bet your parties are a scream,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Can i come lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted October 1, 2006 Share Posted October 1, 2006 I've got far too many to tell...so not even going there!!! aw come on...I was looking forward to yours Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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