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Who wear's the trousers in your household..


scooby_doo_do

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We are good friends with a couple who have been together for around 15 years. When they go out, she always drives so he can have a drink. They always go to the same place for holidays, because he wants to. He tells her what to wear, and will not let her wear makeup. Their three children act like shop dummies when out with their dad, or we visit. She has an allowance, and from what my wife has been told, the poor woman has to account for all expenditure. She always seems happy, and is very chatty and articulate so I dont think she is being mis-treated, but is totally accepting of her lot. I cant imagine a relationship like that, but I wonder how common it is.

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I just mean I don't understand it really, someone said something about always choosing where they holiday etc. Surely it's not up to 1 person?

 

:) I was talking about someone else, pointing out how alien I personally thought their relationship was compared to my wife and I.

 

Spanking on the other hand is something I both agree with and enjoy on a regular basis. I'm deliberately naughty most friday nights as it happens.

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:) I was talking about someone else, pointing out how alien I personally thought their relationship was compared to my wife and I.

 

Spanking on the other hand is something I both agree with and enjoy on a regular basis. I'm deliberately naughty most friday nights as it happens.

 

Sorry I realise that I didn't think that was what you did... I just mean I can't think of any scenarios... do people mean like she always does the ironing and stuff?

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I think what they're trying to say in a roundabout way is that the underlying 'boss' of their relationships is their girlfriend.

 

ie 'can I go to the pub on Friday night? - i'd better ask 'the boss'

 

or can I get xyz for the car, better ask 'the boss'

 

It's a ridiculous thing because surely no one makes decisions without their partner anyway so...

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Sorry I realise that I didn't think that was what you did... I just mean I can't think of any scenarios... do people mean like she always does the ironing and stuff?

 

Well, yes in this instance. This woman is really nice...friendly, intelligent and a great sense of humour. Her husband (someone I've known for at least 12 years) is one of the nicest people you could meet too. I assume she is happy with her lot, as she is good friends with my wife and there has been no hint of unrest or mis-treatment. What seems so normal to her is rather unpleasant to Jane and I...she has no social life of her own, other than the odd visit to female friends, and she seems to exist solely to make him happy and look to his needs. Neither of them seem to think this is unusual.

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Wow. I can't believe people can live like that. Hmm, perhaps I should say "I wouldn't ever live like that".

 

I agree with Charlotte it's ridiculous.

 

I can understand informing the other person you are going out somewhere as a matter or courtesy, or in fact to invite them?? But surely no-one has to ASK permission?

 

I think you're all pulling my leg.

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Wow. I can't believe people can live like that. Hmm, perhaps I should say "I wouldn't ever live like that".

 

I agree with Charlotte it's ridiculous.

 

I can understand informing the other person you are going out somewhere as a matter or courtesy, or in fact to invite them?? But surely no-one has to ASK permission?

 

I think you're all pulling my leg.

 

Ahh but you're forgetting that men have a terrible memory for doing things. Which means that we forget that we're already going out that night etc....so it's ALWAYS safest to check with the boss/diary.

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Wow. I can't believe people can live like that. Hmm, perhaps I should say "I wouldn't ever live like that".

 

I agree with Charlotte it's ridiculous.

 

I can understand informing the other person you are going out somewhere as a matter or courtesy, or in fact to invite them?? But surely no-one has to ASK permission?

 

I think you're all pulling my leg.

 

:) About the spanking bit yes. About my dominant friend and his subservient wife, no. I remember one time the wife had to cancel a meal out with us because she had'nt saved enough from her allowance to pay for her meal.

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I deal with all the finances in our relationship.

Claire has no interest in this at all.

All i ask is that if she is going to blow some money that she checks first to make sure we have it.

 

Is this wrong of me?

Does that put my in the "weirdo with the allowance" category?

 

I feel like a bad partner :blink:

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Ahh but you're forgetting that men have a terrible memory for doing things. Which means that we forget that we're already going out that night etc....so it's ALWAYS safest to check with the boss/diary.

 

 

That's not asking permission though, that's just checking you've not double booked usurely?

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I deal with all the finances in our relationship.

Claire has no interest in this at all.

All i ask is that if she is going to blow some money that she checks first to make sure we have it.

 

Is this wrong of me?

Does that put my in the "weirdo with the allowance" category?

 

I feel like a bad partner :blink:

 

 

Not at all, but I don't see how that means you (in the 3rd person) 'are the boss' kinda thing? That just means you deal with the money and she's bright enough to not spend money you don't have. She's not asking youre permission to spent it, she's checking it's there.

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