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Best one liners from the movies...


andrew7

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I can't beleive theres none from Ferris Buellers day off.

 

Ed Rooney: [Trying to get past dog] I got you now, you little fucker!

 

--

 

Cameron: What'd I do?

Ferris: You killed the car.

 

--

 

[a baseball game is on television]

Ed Rooney: What's the score?

Pizza Joint Owner: Nothin' nothin'.

Ed Rooney: [not really listening] Who's winning?

Pizza Joint Owner: The Bears.

 

--

 

Cameron: [singing] When Cameron was in Egypt's land..."let my Cameron go!"

 

--

 

Ferris: Look, it's real simple. Whatever mileage we put on, we'll take off.

Cameron: How?

Ferris: We'll drive home backwards.

 

--

 

Ferris: Hi. Do you speak English?

Garage Attendant: Uh, what country do you think this is?

 

--

 

Ferris: Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.

 

--

 

Shermerite: [a student is walking around with a can collecting money] Save Ferris? Save Ferris?

[solicits Jeannie]

Shermerite: Save Ferris?

Jeannie: Excuse me?

Shermerite: Well, a group of us are collecting money to buy Ferris Bueller a new kidney. Save Ferris?

Jeannie: Go piss up a flagpole.

Shermerite: I'm sorry?

Jeannie: You should be.

[Knocks the can out of his hand]

 

--

 

Grace: Oh, he's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.

 

--

 

[calling the police about an intruder]

Jeannie: There is an intruder - male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird - in my kitchen... M-my-my-my name is Bueller...

[pause]

Jeannie: Look, it's real nice that you hope my brother is feeling better, but I'm in danger, okay? I am very cute, very alone and very protective of my body. I don't want it violated or killed, all right? I need help! Speaka de English? DICKHEAD!

 

--

 

Ferris: Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in The Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus but it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car!

 

--

 

Cameron: The 1961 Ferrari 250GT California. Less than a hundred were made. My father spent three years restoring this car. It is his love, it is his passion.

Ferris: It is his fault he didn't lock the garage.

 

--

 

Garage Attendant: You guys got nothing to worry about, I'm a professional.

Cameron: A professional what?

 

--

 

Ferris: Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.

 

--

 

Cameron: [in disguised voice] Pardon my French, but you're an asshole! Asshole!

 

--

 

[On the phone]

Ed Rooney: I'm very sorry, Mr. Peterson...

Cameron: [disguised voice] Call me sir! Goddamn it!

 

--

 

Ferris: I do have a test today. that wasn't bullshit. It's on European socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So who cares if they're socialists? They could be fascist anarchists. It still doesn't change the fact that I don't own a car.

 

--

 

[thinking he's trapped Ferris Bueller on the phone]

Ed Rooney: [talking to Cameron on the phone] Tell you what dipshit, if you don't like my policies, you can come down here and smooch my big ol' white butt.

Grace: Ed!

Ed Rooney: Pucker up, buttercup. (to Grace) What?

Grace: Ferris Bueller's on line two.

 

Gaz.

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A couple more from dusk till dawn :D

 

They look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits 'em. I don't give a f**k how crazy they are!

 

Everybody be cool. YOU - be cool

 

Okay hard drinkers, let's drink hard. I'm buyin

 

I'm peachy! Why shouldn't I be? The world's my oyster. Except for the fact that I just rammed a wooden stake in my brother's heart because he turned into a vampire, even though I don't believe in vampires. Aside from that unfortunate business, everything's hunky-dory.'

 

Take advantage of our pussy sale! Buy once piece of pussy, and you get another piece of pussy of equal or lesser value for only a penny! If you find cheaper pussy anywhere else.....F**K IT!!!!!!!

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Closer 2004:

 

Dan: Everybody wants to be happy.

 

Larry: Depressives don't. They want to be unhappy to confirm they're depressed. If they were happy they couldn't be depressed anymore. They'd have to go out into the world and live. Which can be depressing.

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Not exactly a one liner, but a great quote from Revolver:

 

 

There is something about yourself that you don't know. Something that you will deny even exists, until it's too late to do anything about it. It's the only reason you get up in the morning. The only reason you suffer the shitty puss, the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. Fear or revere me, but please, think I'm special. We share an addiction. We're approval junkies. We're all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The hip-hip-hoo-fuckin' rah. Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on you crazy diamond, because we're just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others.

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Oddball: "Why don't you knock it off with them Negative Waves! Why don't dig how beautiful it is out here. Why can't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change" - Kellys Heroes

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