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Best one liners from the movies...


andrew7

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"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V. (V in V for Vendetta)

 

:looney:

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82. "Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'." (Shawshank Redemption)

83. "Here's Johnny!" (The Shining) [Can't believe i'm first with this!!]

84. "I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti" (Silence of the Lambs)

85."I'm Spartacus! I'm Spartacus!" (Spartacus)

86. "Schwing!" (Wayne's World)

87. "We're not worthy. We're not worthy." (Wayne's World)

88. "I am your father" (Star Wars)

89. "They're here!" (Poltergeist)

90. "I'll have what she's having." (When Harry met Sally)

91. Ted Striker: "Surely you can't be serious."

Droctor: "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley." (Airplane)

92. "Get away from her you bitch!" (Aliens)

93. "No Mr Bond, I expect you to die" (Goldfinger?)

94. "I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?" (Meet the Parents)

95. "I see dead people." (Sixth Sense)

96. "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." (Usual Suspects)

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"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V. (V in V for Vendetta)

 

Brilliant! :D Well done on the spelling!

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All the best quotes from snatch:

 

Customs official: Do you have anything to declare, sir?

Avi: Yeah. Don't go to England.

 

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Avi: Should I call you Bullet? Tooth?

Bullet Tooth Tony: You can call me Susan if it makes you happy.

 

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Bullet Tooth Tony: You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.

 

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Brick Top: Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt... me.

 

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Avi: Tony.

Bullet Tooth Tony: What?

Avi: Look in the dog.

Bullet Tooth Tony: What do you mean, "Look in the dog"?

Avi: I mean open him up.

Bullet Tooth Tony: That's a bit strong! It's not a fucking tin of baked beans! What do you mean "open him up"?

 

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Mickey: [roused from his drunken stupor] I need to have a shite.

 

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Turkish: Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?

Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.

Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?

Tommy: It's for protection.

Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?

 

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Brick Top: In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again.

 

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Turkish: You take sugar?

Brick Top: No thank you, Turkish; I'm sweet enough.

 

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Turkish: Well, do you want to do it?

Mickey: That depends.

Turkish: On what?

Mickey: On you buying this caravan. Not the rouge one, the rose.

Turkish: It's not the same caravan.

Mickey: It's not the same fight.

Turkish: It's twice the fucking size of the last one.

Mickey: Turkish, the fight is twice the size. And me ma still needs a caravan. I like to look after me ma. It's a fair deal. Take it.

Turkish: Mickey, you're lucky we aren't worm food after your last performance. Buying a tart's mobile palace is a little fucking rich.

[Realizes his mistake]

Turkish: I wasn't calling your mum a tart. I just meant...

Mickey: Save your breath for cooling your pies. Hey, look

[starts talking incoherently]

Mickey: Right. And she's terribly partial to the periwinkle blue. Have I made myself clear, lads?

Turkish: Yeah, that's perfectly clear, Mickey. Just give me one minute to confer with my colleague.

[to Tommy]

Turkish: Did you understand a single word of what he just said?

 

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Avi: I'm gettin' heartburn. Tony, do something terrible.

 

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Mickey: I bet ya can box a little, can't ya sir? Aye, you look like a boxer.

 

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Bullet Tooth Tony: Boris the Blade? As in Boris the Bullet-Dodger?

Avi: Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?

Bullet Tooth Tony: 'Cause he dodges bullets, Avi.

 

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Avi: You got a toothbrush? We're going to London. Do you hear that, Doug? I'm coming to London.

[Avi arrives in London]

Doug the Head: Avi.

Avi: Shut up and sit down, you big, bald fuck. I don't like leaving my country Doug, and I especially don't like leaving it for anything less then sandy beaches, and cocktails with little straw hats.

Doug the Head: Avi, we have sandy beaches...

Avi: So? Who the fuck wants to see 'em?

 

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Bullet Tooth Tony: Avi, pull your socks up.

 

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Avi: Eighty-six carats.

Rosebud: Where?

Avi: London.

Rosebud: London?

Avi: London.

Gemologist: London?

Avi: Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking Poppins... LONDON.

 

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Turkish: You show me how to control a wild fucking gypsy and I'll show you how to control an unhinged, pig-feeding gangster.

 

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Vinny: Why are we stopped here? What's wrong with that spot?

Tyrone: It's too tight.

Vinny: Too tight? You could land a jumbo fucking jet in that.

 

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Vinny: I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the fuck can he get away from?

 

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Bullet Tooth Tony: So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.

Vinny: These are your last words, so make them a prayer.

Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two small mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties mangled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your gun...

[Zoom in on the side of Sol's gun, which indeed has "REPLICA" etched on the side; zoom out, as they sneak peeks at the sides of their guns]

Bullet Tooth Tony: And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O"...

[Withdraws his gun and puts it on the table]

Bullet Tooth Tony: Written down the side of mine...

[They look, zoom in on the side of his gun, which indeed has "DESERT EAGLE .50" etched on the side]

Bullet Tooth Tony: Should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off!

 

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Brick Top: If I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not. And if you ever interrupt me whilst I'm walking, I'll cut your fucking jacobs off.

 

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Tommy: Who took the jam outta your doughnut?

Turkish: You took the fucking jam outta my doughnut, Tommy, you.

 

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Brick Top: I don't care if he's Muhammad I'm hard Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.

 

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[Tyrone just backed into Franky Four Fingers' van]

Tyrone: I didn't see it there.

Vinny: It's a four ton truck, Tyrone. Its not as though its a bag of fucking peanuts, is it?

Tyrone: It was at a funny angle.

[All three turn and look back at the truck]

Vinny: It's behind you Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come at you from behind.

 

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Turkish: What's happening with them sausages, Charlie?

Sausage Charlie: Five minutes, Turkish.

Turkish: It was two minutes five minutes ago.

 

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Turkish: I fail to recognize the correlation between "losing 10K", "hospitalizing gorgeous" and "a good deal".

 

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Turkish: [looks at the caravan] Look at it. How am I suppose to run this thing from that? We'll need a proper office. I want a new one, Tommy. You're going to buy it for me.

Tommy: Why me?

Turkish: Well, you know about caravans.

Tommy: How's that?

Turkish: You spent a summer in one, which means you know more than me. And I don't want to have my pants pulled down over the price.

Tommy: What's wrong with this one?

Turkish: [Pulls the caravan's door from its hinges] Oh, nothing, Tommy. It's tiptop. I'm just not sure about the colour.

 

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Brick Top: Gimme that fucking shooter.

Pikey: I'll give you that fucking shooter you cunt hair.

[blam. Blam]

 

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Policeman: So, what you doin here?

Turkish: I'm taking the dog for a walk. What's the problem?

Policeman: What's in the car?

Turkish: Seats and a steering wheel.

 

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Mickey: Good dags. D'ya like dags?

Tommy: Dags?

Mickey: What?

Mrs. O'Neil: Yeah, dags.

Tommy: Oh, dogs. Sure, I like dags. I like caravans more.

 

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Tyrone: I don't want that dog dribbling on my seats.

Vinny: Your seats? Tyrone, this is a stolen car, mate.

 

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Turkish: I'm sorry, Mickey.

Mickey: Did ya do it? Then why are ya sorry?

 

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[Pricing a diamond for Bad Boy Lincoln]

Sol: No, it's a moissanite.

Bad Boy Lincoln: A what-a-nite?

Sol: A moissanite is an artificial diamond, Lincoln. It's Mickey Mouse, man. Spurious. Not genuine. And it's worth... Fuck-all.

 

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Bullet Tooth Tony: You better not be tellin' me porky pies.

 

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Turkish: I can't make him fight, can I?

Brick Top: You're not much use to me alive are you, Turkish?

 

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Errol: Fuckface, who's speaking to you? He asked him, didn't he?

Turkish: Fuckface... I like that one Errol. I'll have to remember that one next time I'm crawling off yer mum.

 

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Turkish: Well the rabbit gets fucked.

Tommy: [pauses] Proper fucked?

Turkish: Yes, before "Zee Germans" get there.

 

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Mickey: Ya got a good kick fer a fat fella.

Gorgeous George: You better stay down.

[throws Mickey into a wooden fence]

 

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Turkish: [voice over] Boris the Blade, or Boris "the Bullet Dodger." As bent as the Soviet's sickle, and as hard as the hammer that crosses it. Apparently, it's impossible to kill the bastard.

 

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[Doug sees four Jewish kids smoking]

Doug the Head: What are you doing?

Jewish Boy: [spits] It's a free country isn't it?

Doug the Head: Well it isn't a free shop is it? So fuck off.

 

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Mickey: The deal was you bought it like you saw it. Hey, look, I've helped you as much as I'm going to help you. See that car? Just use it for you're not welcome anymore. You should fuck off now while you still got the legs to carry you.

Gorgeous George: Nobody.

Mickey: Nobody brings a fella the size of you unless they're trying to say something without talking, right?

Tommy: Sorry, Mickey. Just give our money back and you can keep the caravan.

Mickey: Why the fuck do I want a caravan that's got no fucking wheels? You want to settle this with a fight?

Mrs. O'Neil: Over my dead body! Now, go on! Go on! I'll not have you fighting, Mickey! You know what happens when you fight.

Mickey: Get her to sit down. For fuck's sake! Want the money? I ain't fucked you. I'll fight you for it. You and me.

 

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[after hearing about Bullet-Tooth Tony surviving after being shot six times]

Cousin Avi: Six times?

Doug the Head: In one sitting.

 

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Alex Denovitz: What about Tony?... you know, Bullet Tooth Tony.

Avi: Who's Bullet Tooth...

[cuts to Tony and Charlie at a club]

Charlie: Tony!

Bullet Tooth Tony: You silly fuck.

[cuts back to Doug's office]

Doug the Head: He's a liability.

Alex Denovitz: He'll find you Moses and the burning bush, if you pay him to.

Charlie: You are gonna die, Tony!

Alex Denovitz: He got shot six times, had the bullets moulded into gold.

[bang, bang]

Charlie: I shoot you, you go down!

Susi Denovitz: Now he's got two in his teeth that Dad did for him. So he loves Dad.

[bang, bang, bang]

Charlie: Why don't you fucking die!

Susi Denovitz: He's the best chance you got of finding Franky.

Avi: Six times?

[bang]

Doug the Head: In one sitting.

Bullet Tooth Tony: [picks up a sword] You're in trouble now!

 

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Mickey: I'll bet you for it.

Tommy: You'll what?

Pikeys: HE'LL BET YOU FOR IT!

Turkish: What, like Tommy did last time? Do me a favour?

Mickey: I'll do you a favour. You have first bet. If I win, I get a caravan... and the boys get a pair of them shoes.

[the Pikeys laugh at Turkish and Tommy, who are wearing plastic bags around their shoes]

Mickey: If I lose... Oh fuck it, I'll do the fight for free.

Turkish: [narrating] Now the last thing I really wanna do is bet a pikey.

 

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Avi: Who is Bullet Tooth...

Charlie: Tony!

Bullet Tooth Tony: You silly fuck.

Doug the Head: He's a liability.

Charlie: You are gonna die Tony!

[bang]

Charlie: [bang]

Alex Denovitz: He got shot six times, had the bullets molded into gold.

Charlie: I shoot you! You go down!

[bang]

Charlie: [bang]

[bang]

Alex Denovitz: He has two in his teeth that dad did for him.

Charlie: Why don't you fucking DIE?

[bang]

Avi: Six times?

Doug the Head: In one sitting.

Bullet Tooth Tony: [Picks up a sword] Oh your in trouble now.

 

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Turkish: That six pound piece of shit stuck in your trousers would do more damage if you fed it to him.

 

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Brick Top: You're on thin fucking ice my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, fuck off.

 

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Brick Top: You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

Sol: Would someone mind telling me, who are you?

Brick Top: And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

 

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Bullet Tooth Tony: I'm driving down the road with your head stuck in my window. What does it look like I'm doin'?

 

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Sol: You ain't from this planet are you, Vincent? Who is gonna mug two black fellas, holding pistols, sat in a car that is worth less than your shirt?

 

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Turkish: [Narrating] This is Tommy. He tells people he's named after a gun, but I know he's named after a famous 19th century ballet dancer.

 

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Brick Top: [referring to Tommy] Turkish, put a lead on him.

 

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Turkish: [Tommy has a gun in his trousers] what's to stop it blowing your bollocks off every time you sit down?

 

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Turkish: Now, I know he looks like a fat fucker... well, he is a fat fucker...

 

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Tommy: Are you sayin' I can't shoot?

Turkish: No Tommy, I'm not saying you can't shoot. I know you can't shoot. I'm just sayin' it'd probably do him more damage if you fed it to him.

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82. "Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'." (Shawshank Redemption)

83. "Here's Johnny!" (The Shining) [Can't believe i'm first with this!!]

84. "I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti" (Silence of the Lambs)

85."I'm Spartacus! I'm Spartacus!" (Spartacus)

86. "Schwing!" (Wayne's World)

87. "We're not worthy. We're not worthy." (Wayne's World)

88. "I am your father" (Star Wars)

89. "They're here!" (Poltergeist)

90. "I'll have what she's having." (When Harry met Sally)

91. Ted Striker: "Surely you can't be serious."

Droctor: "I am serious. And don't call me Shirley." (Airplane)

92. "Get away from her you bitch!" (Aliens)

93. "No Mr Bond, I expect you to die" (Goldfinger?)

94. "I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?" (Meet the Parents)

95. "I see dead people." (Sixth Sense)

96. "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist." (Usual Suspects)

97. 82. "Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'." (Shawshank Redemption)

98. Give me a diablo sandwich, a Dr. Pepper, and make it quick, I'm in a god-damn hurry. (smokey and the bandit)

99. Bandit: Well, go girl, go!

Carrie: [she is driving] I'm goin' I'm goin! I got the metal to the petal and the thing to the floor! (smokey and the bandit)

100.Alabama State Trooper: Did you see that? They went right through our roadblock

Buford T. Justice: You sombitches couldn't close an umbrella

101.Junior: Damn, he had a lot of friends, didn't he?

Buford T. Justice: If they'd have cremated the sombitch, I'd be kickin' that Mr Bandit's ass around the moon by now

102.Buford T. Justice: What we're dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.

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100. Wyld Stalions Rule..!!! (Bill and Ted Excellent Adventure)

101. pop the hood, shit man a 2JZ GTE engine, You know what? This will decimate all... after we put about fifteen grand or more under the hood. If we have to, overnight some parts from Japan. (F&F)

102. Im too old for this shit (Leathal Weapon)

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Donkey: Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Man, this would be so much easier if I wasn't COLOR-BLIND! (shrek)

 

Donkey: Wow, that was really scary and if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, your breath will certainly get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something 'cause your breath STINKS.

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My fave Ali G IndaHouse Quotes:

 

You wanna know 'ow I make diz country bettah? Iz simple, two words: Keep it real!

That's three words!

Don't be a spannah, it ain't a real word, it's short for innit, innit?

 

Jezzy, iz you wearing green? I knew it - you iz defected to the Iver 'eath possey, innit? Come on - let's stab him!

No, no - wait! Me mum, yeah, she put me yellow top in the wash with me brothers blue football socks even though they ain't colourfast.

All right. But you tell that slag, that in the ghetto, washing non colourfast synthetics at 60 degrees could cost you your life...

 

(Ali) Crack cocaine iz destroyin' our community, so when a bruva' makes it through, he deserves our respect. So, let's big it up for me main man Darren, who has been off da crack now for eight years! (Darren) Eight years and three quarters. (Ali) Whateva !

 

He iz a criminal! And not even da good type wot deals drugs and does drive bys.

 

And I put it to YOU... that you sucked off a 'orse.

 

R.E.S.T.E.C.P! Do ya even know wha it spellz?

Restecp?

Yes, Restecp. 'owz anyone out there meant to restecp each otha, if you lot in'ere, don't even start restecpa-ing one another?

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