poot Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 What the difference between Anal Sex and Oral Sex? Oral sex makes your day.... Anal sex makes your whole week! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesmark Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Man goes to his wife "love, we are going fishing next weekend me, you and the dog" To which the wife replies "yeah ok then" hoping it goings rain. Next week arrives is amazing weather and the man walks into to the room all geared out in his fishing gear and says to the wife "right are you ready?" the wife tells the man she is not going and thats final, to which the mans says yes you are, this goes on for a while. The man finally says "you can stay on one condition" "whats that?" the wife asks "i either shag you up the arse or you give me a blowjob" the women thinks about it and decides tol give the man a blowjob, she starts sucking away and says "your cock tastes funny this morning!!!!" man replies "yeah i knwo the dog did not want to go neither!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ivan Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Back to the deer: What do you call a dead deer with no legs and no cock? Still no fucking eye deer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUPRALOOPY Posted August 5, 2006 Share Posted August 5, 2006 What sort of file do you need to make a 1" hole into a 4" hole.....? A pheadofile..(sp) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian R Posted August 5, 2006 Share Posted August 5, 2006 A young boy went up to his father and asked, "What's the difference betweenpotentially and realistically?" The father ponders for a moment and then answered "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a millionquid and also ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a millionquid, then come back and tell me what you learned." So the boy went to his mother and asked "Mum would you sleep with RobertRedford for a million quid?" The mother replied, "Definitely, I wouldn't pass an opportunity like that." The boy then went to his older sister and asked "Would you sleep with BradPitt for a million quid?" The girl replied "Oh gosh, I would just love to do that, I would be nuts topass up that opportunity." The boy then thought about it for a few days, and went back to his father. His father asked him "Did you find the difference between potentially andrealistically?" The boy replied, "Yes, potentially we're sitting on 2 million quid, butrealistically we're living with two slappers." The father replied, "That's my boy." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garetheves Posted August 5, 2006 Share Posted August 5, 2006 Remember guys, when approaching the subject of Anal sex with your missus, forgiveness is easier to get than permission. 2 Women walk into a bar... You'd think the second one would have seen it. Whats grey sits at the end of the your bed and takes the piss...... A kidney dialysis machine. Why do women have legs..... Have you seen the mess snails make. What do you do if a bird shits on your car.... Dont take her out again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garetheves Posted August 5, 2006 Share Posted August 5, 2006 What do you do if an elephant comes through your window??.... Start swimming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUPRALOOPY Posted August 5, 2006 Share Posted August 5, 2006 What did the man say when 200 elephants came over the hill? Oh look here comes 200 elephants. What did the man say when 200 elephants came over the hill with sunglasses on?? Nothing he did'nt recognise them:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted August 6, 2006 Share Posted August 6, 2006 > > A very sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she >>wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were loose and >>flapping. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery >>be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. >> >>Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses >>carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in >>the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to tell >>anyone about my operation!" >> >>The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and >>that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through >>this >>all by yourself." >> >>"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and >>empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago." >> >>"And what about the third rose?" she asked. >> >>"Oh, that rose is from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank >>you for his new ears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Headroom Posted August 6, 2006 Share Posted August 6, 2006 A young boy went up to his father and asked, "What's the difference betweenpotentially and realistically?" The father ponders for a moment and then answered "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a millionquid and also ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a millionquid, then come back and tell me what you learned." So the boy went to his mother and asked "Mum would you sleep with RobertRedford for a million quid?" The mother replied, "Definitely, I wouldn't pass an opportunity like that." The boy then went to his older sister and asked "Would you sleep with BradPitt for a million quid?" The girl replied "Oh gosh, I would just love to do that, I would be nuts topass up that opportunity." The boy then thought about it for a few days, and went back to his father. His father asked him "Did you find the difference between potentially andrealistically?" The boy replied, "Yes, potentially we're sitting on 2 million quid, butrealistically we're living with two slappers." The father replied, "That's my boy." PMSL so very funny, so very old Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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