dangerous brain Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 If you have a huge green ball in you left hand and another huge green ball in your right hand what have you got??? The undivided attention of the jolly green giant Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martin_a Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 An englishman an irishman and a scotsman walk into a bar barman says "this some sort of joke? alternatively "you'd have thought one of them would have seen it." m. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
green_dragon Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Patient: Doctor doctor, I can't say 'F' ot 'T' Doctor: Well you can't say fairer than that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonW Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 What's brown and sticky........................................a brown stick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spidermonkey Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 why have elephants got 4 feet...... coz they'd look stupid with 6 inches Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tannhauser Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 A buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "Make me one with everything". That's brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tannhauser Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Man: Doctor, Doctor, I keep eating snooker balls! Doctor: Well, what have you eaten so far? Man: Three reds, two blacks, a blue, a pink, two browns and a yellow Doctor: I can see what the problem is. You're not getting enough greens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martin_a Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff BA DUM TSSSSH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrHanky Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Farmer plants a field full of dildos, his biggest problem was squatters! Posted by Rogue (do'h forgot to log in as myself!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MKIVDreamer Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman, "I'll have a pint of................................." "...............................larger please" Barman gives him a funny look, but pulls the pint and hands it to the Polar Bear and asks, "Why the big pause?" Polar Bear replies "Duh! I'm a bear" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MKIVDreamer Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 A man wrapped in cling film goes to see the psychiatrist The psychiatrist looks him over and says "I can clearly see you're nuts" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snooze Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Man goes to a zoo. There's no animals there except for one dog..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snooze Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 .....it was a shih tzu :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jezz Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 What noise does a pikey's drumkit make?.......... .......Billy billy billy john. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesmark Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Dunno if someone has done this already but here goes ............. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the hedgehog cross the road? It was the chickens day off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andrew7 Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Why did Gregory Peck cross the road?.. To strangle that fekkin' chicken!.....:0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andrew7 Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Goerge Bush grew up thinking a lunatic was a bug that lived on the moon........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stupra Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Why did the hedgehog cross the road ?,.. to see his flat mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittyclaws Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. what sound does a cow with no lips make?? Ooooooo ( try it ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 A man is driving along the motorway with his wife in the passenger seat. During the drive, the wife gets an idea. She starts taking off her clothing piece by piece and tossing them out the window. The guy is shocked but aroused. She gets her shoes, socks, etc. and chucks them out. Finally, she whips her underwear off and throws it all out onto the motorway. The guy is laughing and leering at her. He looses control of the car in the process and crashes into a barrier at the side. Unfortunately, the air-bag doesn't go off on his side, and he finds himself wedged in under the steering wheel. "Help, go get help......aggghhhh, I'm stuck", he shouts. "But I have no clothes on. What'll I do ?", she screams. "Here", he says wiggling his foot, "Take my shoe and put it over your crotch. It'll have to do, love. Quick, hurry!" She takes the shoe off his foot and places it over her crotch and gets out of the car, limping and shouting for help. After a few hundred yards of yelling and running a trucker notices this naked hysterical woman holding a shoe over her crotch, and pulls over. "What's seems to be the trouble?", he asks. "Help me", she screams, "My husband is stuck". "If he's stuck up that far I'm afraid I can't help you." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fifty Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 just heard the roofs fell in at Plymouth Tescos apparently 6 assylum seekers killed .....every little helps Rich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamesmark Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 just heard the roofs fell in at Plymouth Tescos apparently 6 assylum seekers killed .....every little helps Rich What have you just done you will get the usual people coming along claiming politcal correctness now!!!!!!!!!! YAWN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fifty Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 so what, dont care, its just a joke, if the mods dont like it; bin it. Rich:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i-macca Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Why did the pervert cross the road? He couldn't get his kn*b out the chicken! What does a man with a 2ft c*ck have for breakfast?? Well, this morning I had two boiled eggs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff BA DUM TSSSSH! Brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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