SUPRALOOPY Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 Two pieces of tarmac are in the bar enjoying a pint when a piece of red tarmac comes in and orders a pint, they rush over and say to the barman "don't serve him he's a cyclepath" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr lover Posted August 3, 2006 Author Share Posted August 3, 2006 what do you call a dinosaur with diarrhea megasorearse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Headroom Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 How do you get two elephants in a supra... One in the front and one in the back How do you get two lions in a supra... You can't because the elephants are in there How do you get two whales in a supra... Down the M4 Thank you Thank you Thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jezz Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 Its new years eve and a snail slithers along the bar to the barman. "pint of lager please barman" Barman replies "feck off i aint serving a snail" and throws the snail out the door. The following new years eve the same snail slithers up to the barman. "what the feck you do that for". I thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, "do you know the speed limit here is 50 miles per hour?". I said, "oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far". Did that actually happen? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 Did that actually happen? Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mk47 Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road." Post number six in this very thread. Keep up at the back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 Post number six in this very thread. Keep up at the back. Oops. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUPRALOOPY Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 what do you call a prostitute with no legs... Dirty cnut Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jezz Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 I've got a great short joke........ Charlotte. Only joking. Luv ya really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 I've got a great short joke........ Charlotte. Only joking. Luv ya really. I haven't had my pills yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poot Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 Why did Nivea Creme? Cos Max Factor! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisSZ Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 Masochist ---- "Hit me! Hit me!!" Sadist ------- "No!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andyhannah Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 Jeremy Beadle has a large penis! but on the other hand its quite small. i nearly pissed myself with that one lol. funny as f**k Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BASHTHEBISHOP Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 A bit of a long one... Man & wife having loads of marital troubles Man meets best mate in pub to discuss... best mate suggests do everything she says and try and be helpful Man goes home.... starts doing washing up...drops a dish..smash on the floor...wife shouts through...'thats it smash all the crockery up' ...so he does Man then starts to do ironing..... knock at the door.. so man runs to answer...Just a salesman... runs back to find wifes best blouse burning.... wife says 'thats it burn all my fvcking clothes why dont u' man does Man & wife go upto bed... Man puts his hand between wifes legs... wife says 'u can fvcking cut that out' Yep you guessed it... Man meets best mate next day who asks how it went and he says ' yeah fvcking great (holding fir burger in the air) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i-macca Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 Did you hear about the magic tractor? Went down the lane and turned in to a field! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathew Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 whats white and shuffles around a dance floor? cum dancing:d its the way i tell them:d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUPRALOOPY Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Man in front of magic mirror.. Mirror mirror on the wall make my dick touch the floor..... So his legs disappeared:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SUPRALOOPY Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Whats white and shoots across the sky???????? The coming of the lord.. boom booom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian C Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Two goldfish in a tank. One turns to the other and goes: "Do you know how to drive this thing?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andrew7 Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Here's a short one...the guy in the white car's life expectancy.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian R Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Whats the difference between losing a golf ball and lady gudiver ???? One a hunt on a course. The other's .................................. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Headroom Posted August 4, 2006 Share Posted August 4, 2006 Here's a short one...the guy in the white car's life expectancy.... PMSL About 30 secs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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