MaveriK Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Man says to wife 'I had a wet dream about you last night, I dreamt you got run over by a bus and I pissed myself laughing'. A woman asked her hubby if he knew how she could make her bust bigger. He said 'try rubbing toilet paper between your tits, it's worked for your arse'. My uncle just got struck off the medical register for having sex with his patients, it's a real shame cause he's a really good vet. Woman walks past a pet shop with a sign reading 'For sale clitoris licking frog' She goes in and the shopkeeper say's 'Bonjour madame'. Yesterday I read an article about the dangers of drinking too much, it scared the s**t out of me. So today I decided I'm never reading again. Little girl gets lost in Tesco's, security guard asks her 'what's your mum like?' Little girl replies 'Big cocks and vodka'. A couple in a cafe in Llangollen asks 'Can you settle an argument for us and pronounce where we are, VERY slowly?' The waitress leaned over and said ........ 'Burrr gurrr king'. Boss has to lay off Ann or Jack. Ann walks into the office, boss say's 'I have a problem, I have to lay you or Jack off.....'You better jack off, I've got a headache'. Larry la Prise who wrote the hokey cokey has died aged 93. The worst part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in, then the trouble started. Sorry I haven't been in touch, a friend was rushed to hospital to have a dangerous mole removed from his penis...... he won't be shagging one of those again! It's important to keep fit as you get older, my granny started walking 5 kilometres a day when she was 60. Today she's 97 and we don't know where the hell she is! A woman goes to her doctor with a bit of lettuce hanging out of her pussy. Doc say's 'that looks nasty'. She say's 'Nasty?, it's just the tip of the iceberg! Two newly weds turn up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite, the receptionist asks 'do you have reservations?' The bride answers 'Yes, I won't take it up the arse'! Thanks, i'll be here all week Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edd_t Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 lol the Mole one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letmeshowyou Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 i like the hokey cokey one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Prawn Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Little girl, mole, lettuce and the bride all made me laugh out loud :D :D Great stuff, I am in your shadow today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 So good! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Have two:d Oh alright...have three:d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian R Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobSheffield Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 you should do stand up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkTheBoy Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Little girl lost in the supermarket... made me chuckle! The vet one too And the mole one etc etc Very funny matey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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