Muffleman Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 And Hitler retreats across europe, bringing thousands of people back to life and bogs off back to Austria Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tepster Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 its my shiny thing! - cat, with his yo-yo Im so excited,all 6 of my nipples are tingling -cat, again follow the rimmer shaped blur - rimmer, cant remember the episode The rimmer song where they have a fairground ride in his honour is a classic! He will never need a zimmer!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbourner Posted July 18, 2006 Author Share Posted July 18, 2006 Legion is brilliant, when Kryten's trying to get that big furry thing in his mouth and it's just floating about!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terribleturner Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 I always liked the episode with the 'justice zone' in it. Me too. When Lister realises to defeat the bad guy he must hurt himself andd so does so. Then cat comes up and hits the bad guy on the head with a spade. PMSL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbourner Posted July 19, 2006 Author Share Posted July 19, 2006 Cat: "Don't fish swim south for the winter?" Kryten: "No, that's birds sir." Cat: "Birds swim south for the winter? How do they breathe!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schtuv Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 CAT: So, what is it? KRYTEN: I've never seen one before -- no one has -- but I'm guessing it's a white hole. RIMMER: A _white_ hole? KRYTEN: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. A black hole sucks time and matter out of the universe: a white hole returns it. LISTER: So, that thing's spewing time back into the universe? KRYTEN: Precisely. That's why we're experiencing these curious time phenomena on board. CAT: So, what is it? KRYTEN: I've never seen one before -- no one has -- but I'm guessing it's a white hole. RIMMER: A _white_ hole? Best episode ever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbourner Posted July 19, 2006 Author Share Posted July 19, 2006 Listen....... can anyone hear anything....... no.... precisely, no-one can hear anything..... and you know WHY we can't hear anything........ because there are NOOOO SOUNDS to HEAR. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schtuv Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Lister - Smegging heck. It's Pete Tranter's sister! and Kryten - Only Mister Listers guitar survived intact ... * crunch * Kryten - ... not even Mister Listers guitar survived intact Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edd_t Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 haha all my favourite lines have already been posted! I still say 'smoke me a kipper, I'll be home in time for breakfast' when leaving the house! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucifer Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Kryten Sir, the approximate chance of getting that code correct first time was ........398,887,098,228-1 - that was lucky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digsy Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Kryten: "Are you sure you want to go to red alert, Sir? It does mean changing the bulb". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martin_a Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 "Space code directive 46632?* No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity?" *it's not going to be that i couldn't remember the exact one! "Tension sheet? But it's just the packing material with bubbles in it painted red with 'tension sheet' written on it!" "We are talking jape of the century. We are talking April, May, June and July fool.." Queeg "Be careful with that, its Lister's mind...*splash*" "What taking pictures of it and showing it to your friends? No it's not normal! And a washing machine shouldn't give anyone a double polaroid!" "His head burst..." All i can remember for now. really have to buy the dvds! m. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest probedb Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Listen....... can anyone hear anything....... no.... precisely, no-one can hear anything..... and you know WHY we can't hear anything........ because there are NOOOO SOUNDS to HEAR. You got there first "In which case, Mister Rimmer, Sir, I should like to take this opportunity of saying that you are the most obnoxious, trumped-up, farty little smeghead it has ever been my misfortune to encounter!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbourner Posted July 19, 2006 Author Share Posted July 19, 2006 6? Do me a lemon, that's a poor IQ for a glass of water! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucifer Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Smeeeeeee..... HEa............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbourner Posted July 19, 2006 Author Share Posted July 19, 2006 Kryten: Mum. I never had a mum. Cat: There, there, it's alright, buddy, it's all part of being drunk. You've been through the happy stage, now you're going through the melancholy stage. Kryten: Noooh... everybody should have a mum. Holly: I never had a mum, neither. Rimmer: Well, you can have mine. Everybody else did! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tepster Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 qweeg: february,march and april fool -holly awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbourner Posted July 19, 2006 Author Share Posted July 19, 2006 Lister: What time is it? Rimmer: [Crawls over to the alarm clock] Saturday. Lister: Is that the best you can do? Rimmer: There are some numbers next to it but they could be anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbourner Posted July 19, 2006 Author Share Posted July 19, 2006 Kryten: But there are fifty-three doors between here and the science room! What on Earth are we going to do? Cat: Hey, I got it! We laser our way through! Kryten: An excellent suggestion, Sir, with just two minor drawbacks. One, we don't have a power source for the lasers, and two, we don't have any lasers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbourner Posted July 19, 2006 Author Share Posted July 19, 2006 Cat: Maybe we should drop the defensive shields? Kryten: A superlative suggestion sir, with only two drawbacks: one, we don't have any defensive shields and two, we don't have any defensive shields. I know that, technically, that's only one drawback, but I thought it was such a big one I it was worth mentioning twice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tbourner Posted July 19, 2006 Author Share Posted July 19, 2006 Cat: OK. I say get into the jet-powered rocket pants and junior-birdman the hell out of here. Kryten: An excellent and inventive suggestion, sir, with just two tiny drawbacks: A) We don't have anyjet-powered rocket pants; and B) There's no such thing as jet-powered rocket pants outside the fictional serial Robbie Rocket Pants. Cat: Well that's put a crimp an otherwise damn fine plan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harps Posted July 19, 2006 Share Posted July 19, 2006 Would anybody like some toast? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daston Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 Lister: Where is everyone?? Holly: Everyones dead Dave Lister: Not everyone! Holly: Yes Dave everybody is dead Dave Lister: Not Pattison Holly: YES DAVE EVERYBODY IS DEAD! Lister: What even Cachanski? Holly: YES DAVE! DEAD EVERYBODY IS DAVE! Lister: Are trying to tell me everybodies dead? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 Would anybody like some toast? How about a muffin? A teacake? Buns? Baps? Bagget? Bagel? A croissant? How about a crumpet? A Pancake? Potato cake? Maybe a hotcross bun then. Or what about a flap jack. Didn't want any of those huh? AAAAHHHHhhhhh so you're a waffle man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian C Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 Just how good was Red Dwarf Reading these is brilliant, all my faves have come up (four times in the case of the lightbulbs) but the "Only Mr Listers guitar survived" bit I'd forgotten about How about: "Change of plan - leg it!" "Rimmer, Rimmer, he's better than your garden strimmer" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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