pistonbroke Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 A freind of mine in work is a schools officer in SE London, he approached me in work and asked for footage of robberies and street crime so he can put together a little presentation for school kids to put them off crime. He said he wanted it graphic so it sticks in their mind and makes them think about the consequences. So, I've made this little clip about carrying knives, what do you think? Click here to watch knife-final Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeordieSteve Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 "they thinks it looks cool" Other than that you'll have kids collapsing all over the shop... great stuff! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Too much reading and not enough shocking, might also be wise to edit the pics to remove URLs, parents might not thank you for introducing their kids to websites like Ogrish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistonbroke Posted July 17, 2006 Author Share Posted July 17, 2006 Damn you, I spotted that just as I posted this and took it off the site for some serious editting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Nice and dramatic. Typo - "Because they thinks it's cool" - no s on the think. I'd probably end it on the "Still think knives are cool?" bit I think. (Keep the other text, but leave that one till last perhaps?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Blimey. Having seen that I think I better get a knife to protect myself! It's very good. Hard hitting but that's what you were going for. You should go over the grammar carefully though, seeing as it's for a school. You don't usually put a capital letter after a comma and there's not space in words like they're (I think you had it as they' re) Are all those pictured injuries actually from knife wounds? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistonbroke Posted July 17, 2006 Author Share Posted July 17, 2006 There is no space, its just a dodgy font. Yes, they are all knife wounds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistonbroke Posted July 17, 2006 Author Share Posted July 17, 2006 Ok, its all fixed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jezz Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Great! Cant thinks of a better way to get it into kids heads. Nice work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moistfinger Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Good work, should get the message across. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Agree with all of the above. Perhaps lose the word 'cool', its not cool to mention it Very good vid though, certainly pulls all the right strings and with the music and pics sure delivers the shock element. Perhaps more time spent on pics will help the message. Just hope the kids are not as used to internet shock sites as many of us here are. I can read Ogrish (and similar sites) while eating breakfast with a stinking hangover and not feel the slightest bit sick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Dan, If you like I could photoshop the website names out of those photos for you. Email the pics to me at [email protected] if you want it done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GazzaGSi Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Very good work. Made me jump, didnt expet such brutal knife attack pics though!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistonbroke Posted July 17, 2006 Author Share Posted July 17, 2006 Cheers Jake, thanks for the offer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TT88 HKS Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 The picture with slice arm its look like from a Samurai sword you know! Its good education clip, should make the kids not think carry knife is Cool anymore. Shock! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIJ8631 Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Well done, hope it gets the message across cheers Ian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Class One Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Dan, better run that one by someone in your SMT. It puts the message across, no doubt, but its hardcore. Whats the age group of the target audience? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistonbroke Posted July 18, 2006 Author Share Posted July 18, 2006 Yeah, no problem class one. The age group is 15 - 16 year olds. I remember when I was in school, we were shown a fire safety video that was hardcore, showing serious burns victims and the aftermath of house fires with people moulded to furniture and such. All to stop us playing with matches. It worked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elliot Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Dan, If you like I could photoshop the website names out of those photos for you. Email the pics to me at [email protected] if you want it done. Didn't realise you were a hardcore Pompey fan Jake! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 I'm not sure the attention span of the average 15/16 year old will get them through the text bit, flash up a gruesome pic a few seconds in to keep them awake ***** NWS LINKS BELOW ******* (no smut, just gut) Quite a handy site: http://www.pathguy.com/~tdemark/0050.htm You might find this one useful too: http://www.dlsports.com/knife_dangers.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistonbroke Posted July 18, 2006 Author Share Posted July 18, 2006 Cheers for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Yeah, I'd definitely echo those comments, make the first bit punchier, almost like the whole video is a soundtrack to a stabbing, hit after hit after hit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistonbroke Posted July 18, 2006 Author Share Posted July 18, 2006 Ok, this is the final cut, (no pun intended) Click original link for viewing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 That's better Maybe just a fraction more time to read the "...people carrying guns" text though? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Class One Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Good work. If that stops just one stabbing or gets one knife off the street then its worth it. Hopefully it will make some of those little darlings think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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