Guru Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap. 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way. 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message. 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a darn word you're saying. 10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again... 11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid. 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn. 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? 20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. 22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. 23. And your crybaby whiny-funky opinion would be...? 24. Do I look like a people person? 25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 27! . Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 28. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. 33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1? 34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses. 35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? 36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done. 37. How do I set a laser printer to stun? 38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary. 39. Oh. I get it... like humor... but different Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jim_supra Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 LMAO:d I so wish i could get away with saying any of them!! My faves are: 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edd_t Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Haha yup can relate to a few of them At the moment I would like to say to my boss "f**k off you stupid kn0b you have no idea what you're on about because you are a pr@t" Do you think I would get the sack? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supragal Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 some of those are particularly good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike M Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 10 13 & 34 come up regularly offshore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Excellent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ark Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 I once told the boss to his face that he was "deliberately mis-understanding me". While it was completely true and thus there was nothing he could do about it, things were a little frosty after that. Ah well, the truth is a beautiful thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RICHARDA Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 "Tell someone who gives a SHIT" was one of my personal faves. And I'll never forget a meeting in our boardroom where I explained to the works manager that he will be "fucked up the arse once again" by our wanker of an MD. Needless to say I did'nt stay long after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Excellent. How about.. 'who the f**k do you think you are Ewen !?' 'er, Im one of the guys busting his ass to make you richer...thats who' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigger Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Very nearly said one or but have said I will make sure I check my crystal ball in future Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike M Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 One of my favourites, I've stripped something down, bits all over the place and the team leader walks past and asks, What the f@ck are you upto like??(he's from Newcastle) Usual reply is "Havent got a f@cking clue" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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