Mr Prawn, where is my friday funny?

[Todd]

OK it's 09:40 and already my day is crap, Mr Prawn, where's my Friday funny, need a good one today

[Todd]

To late, someone saved me already

 

A man walks in to a restaurant with an ostrich with him. The waitress asks

for their orders.

 

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich,

"What's yours?"

 

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

 

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be £9.40

please," she says and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the

exact amount for payment.

 

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A

hamburger, fries, and a coke."

 

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

 

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact amount. For a

while this becomes routine until the two enter again later in the week.

 

"The usual?" asks the waitress.

 

"No, this time it's a treat, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and

salad," says the man.

 

" Yep! Same," says the ostrich.

 

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be £32.62."

 

Once again the man pulls the exact amount out of his pocket and places it on the table.

 

The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How

do you manage to always come up with the exact money from your pocket every time?"

 

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was clearing the attic and found

an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My

first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my

hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

 

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a couple

of million pounds or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for

as long as you live!"

 

"That's right. Whether it's a pint of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money

is always there," says the man.

 

The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the ostrich?"

 

The man sighs, pauses, and replies, "My second wish was for a tall bird with

a big arse and long legs who agrees with everything I say."

[edd_t]

teehee

[Guru]

:lol:

[Bill Prawn]

Here

 

Amazing, back in the UK for a race and can't get on the internet.

 

By the way Todd, I think that has been posted before

[Todd]

By the way Todd, I think that has been posted before

 

As has yours

 

http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=A+penguin+takes+his+car+to+a+mechanic&meta=

 

But it was still bloody funny

[Bill Prawn]

As has yours

 

http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=A+penguin+takes+his+car+to+a+mechanic&meta=

 

But it was still bloody funny

 

 

Dickhead:p

[Todd]

 

Just got told this one by the lad that sits next to me after telling your penguin one.

 

A panda spent the night in bed with a prostitute. The following morning as he is about ready to leave, the prostitute yells after him,

"Hey, aren't you going to pay me?"

 

The panda appears confused, so she throws a dictionary at him and tells him to look up 'prostitute.'

 

The definition reads: 'A woman who engages in promiscuous sexual activity for pay. '

 

The panda throws the dictionary back at the prostitute and tells her to look up 'panda.'

 

The definition reads: 'An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves.'

[Bill Prawn]

The definition reads: 'An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves.'

Brushed the dust off that one

 

That's where Lynn Truss got the book title from