ChrisSZ Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 Telling people you used to be a Royal Marine/was in the Falklands etc. "Cor!! Didya kill anyone?" That one really pisses me off:( :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 whenever someone comments on my car, either in a car park in town or at work etc; "ooh I bet that drinks a lot of petrol" the best time was at a petrol station..... ("no, im just here because I like the place") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 He's 6ft 10 i'm 5ft 5. I come up to his waist or thereabouts. Ideal height I'd say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supragal Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 Ideal height I'd say. that comment was only a matter of time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 Washing car: "You can do mine next if you like!" "Yeah I'll come in and fuck your missus later as well." Oi, that was my joke you bloody magpie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penguin Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 Ideal height I'd say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Ads Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 Telling people you used to be a Royal Marine/was in the Falklands etc. "Cor!! Didya kill anyone?" That one really pisses me off:( :) Did you?? :d A good one that doesnt get used often on us lot is when you see some1 washing a Fiat or Vauxhall etc, say "You can wash it all you want mate but it's still gonna be a Fiat." My gf came out with that the other day i was PMSL!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
outatime Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 I get the 'you can do mine next' while mowing the lawn among other things. Hilarious. My favourite is after surfing in January - standing in a 5mm wetsuit, gloves, boot and hood, lips frozen and hands shaking so much you can't get the car key in the door. Some ancient dug up always potters over and says something along the lines of: "Is it cold" I have, so far, managed to remain polite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian C Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 oooh, here is one: "I work at Norwich Union" "oh, do you know Bob? He works there as well, in IT" There are 8000+ IT based employees spread across Norwich. -Ian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supragal Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 My favourite is after surfing in January - standing in a 5mm wetsuit, gloves, boot and hood, lips frozen and hands shaking so much you can't get the car key in the door. Ok, so theres a bit of a clue there to why you shouldn't be doing it!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 My housemate and I now have a tradition that whenever one of us is washing the car, the other person has to come up and go, in overblown Peter Kaye fashion, "hey, hey, hey, tell you what, tell you what..." (dramatic pause) "You can do mine next!" and we both do a forced loud laugh. It appeases the god of carwashing I think. Didn't do it the last time and a bird shat 9 times down the side of it while my back was turned -Ian FPMSL...the world needs to see that taped Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
outatime Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 It is worth it, just about. Waves are better in the winter and there are none of the following in the water: Speedboats Jetskis Rubber Rings/dinghys Fat people eating chips Grannies Children Jellyfish People on foam bodyboards Crap surfers/canoeists/bodyboarders getting in the way I usually share the line-up with a seal in January. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisSZ Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 "Oh! Is it raining outside?" Duh!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkTheBoy Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 When painting something... ...You missed a bit... F##K OFF YOU C##T !!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n00b Posted July 15, 2006 Share Posted July 15, 2006 when people are showing clients round the office... "this is charlie, hes the resident boy racer" F**k off im 25 and its not a F**king nova you company car driving tw*t .... atleast i own what i drive!!! i feel better now Charlie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 I get something like that because I've been at this company for 9 years. "oh, this is Rob, he's part of the furniture" Yeah, thanks a fucking lot for valuing my contribution, I'm really going to go the extra mile after that aren't I? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taylor Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 When painting something... ...You missed a bit... F##K OFF YOU C##T !!!!! PMSL!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garetheves Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 I got a couple of very repetitive comments that if i had a quid for every time ive heard them id be a very wealthy man: 1. When i meet people and tell them im a Physio, you can guarantee all of a sudden that they have a bad back or gammy knee that they are sure i could out. They soon get put off when i tell em i charge £30 for a private session. 2. Because im quite a big chap (dont you just love the word chap) and live in Wigan, and Wiganers are massive Rugby Leaguefans, id say at least 50% of my more elderly male patients over the years have commented on how much better they would play if i was on the pitch, or that i should be playing etc etc. It even happened on Friday night at the Wigan game. Was walking back to my seat after half time and some chap said exactly that, "They would shape better if you were playing, look at the size of you". I just smile and say thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 Once, when washing the car, some youngish lad and his bird walked by. He said "wanna do mine next?" "If she's willing, yeah" says I Luckily, neither of then heard and when I repeated myself I said "it'll be raining soon". Phew! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 I get this a lot........ " 'Ewen ?'....are you Welsh ?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Headroom Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 I get this a lot........ " 'Ewen ?'....are you Welsh ?" Are you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 Are you? I also get a lot of this.... "I've tried repeatedly to send you an e-mail, but it keeps being bounced back, wrong address...can I check your address ?" Its ewen.foster@...... "yes, thats what Im using Ewan, you must have a problem at your end..." My names Ewen "I know what your name is lol, Ive known you for years" EWEN.foster@.... "Oh, is it case sensitive ?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorin Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 My names Ewen Are you Welsh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewen Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 Are you Welsh? Im sure some of my distant female ancestors had a bit of Welsh in them at some time or another, but since you asked, no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted July 16, 2006 Share Posted July 16, 2006 Im sure some of my distant female ancestors had a bit of Welsh in them at some time or another, but since you asked, no. You mean, you're not Welsh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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