TreesSZ Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 A good mate of mine has reached a desperate low point. He is suffering from serious depression and has been put on diazipan (sorry for spelling) I have never seen him like this before. Normally the life and soul, when I saw him yesterday he now looks ten years older and a real shell of his former self. If anyone has any advice about helping please pass on any wise words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 Just be the best friend you can be to him. Don't get exasperated if he seems to not want to know you or not to be cheerily taking advice to 'keep his chin up'. Don't give up on him if he isn't better quickly. A lot of people think it's something you can just snap out of. If you really want to! That he's on meds is a sign that it's not just a case of being a bit down and needing someone to talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreesSZ Posted May 15, 2006 Author Share Posted May 15, 2006 Thanks red, It was horrible seeing a best mate so low. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 Get him to a counsellor and get him away from any prescription antidepressants.. I went through all that with an ex-gf some years ago... the answer is regular counseling, and if he needs any medication, try 'St John Wort'.. it's billed as nature's alternative to Prozac and it worked wonders for the ex... no side effects when she stopped with it either... Lots of listening, no patronising, like RedM says, none of this 'keep your chin up' rubbish... just be there as a mate and keep checking on him... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penguin Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 and try to get him out and about as much as possible - being in the same place for too long will no doubt have a bad effect on him.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 and try to get him out and about as much as possible - being in the same place for too long will no doubt have a bad effect on him.... But don't say 'its about time we all had a night out' etc etc. My friend suffered really badly from depression last year after a very stressful period at work. She was in the house for a good 2 months. But it used to annoy her when people talked about nights out, like it would solve the issues. Just be there is the key, I would text and ring my friend and she wouldn't reply straight away but she knew where i was when she needed to talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 I have to agree with the no meds bit but only after full consultation. Without spilling my guts too much I will say that I spent over a decade suffering with depression and much of that time on meds. It was only when I got a new counsellor who worked bloody hard with me that I came off them and tried coping without. Learning to understand the causes and effects of depression is possibly the best thing I ever did and with a clear mind I gradually managed to get myself back on track. I still get bouts every so often but I know what the signs are, what to expect and most importantly, how to get through them. But, I stress, it isn't for everybody. Some people need meds and respond to them and if that's the case prepare for the side effects and be there for your friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreesSZ Posted May 15, 2006 Author Share Posted May 15, 2006 thanks for all the support guys. how do you go about getting back on track or is it just time. I know I'm being very blokey about finding a solution to a problem:( . One of the things he said yesterday was that he didnt know where to begin. Like me he is a ceramist and he hasnt made anything in a while. Was suggesting that he should just try and make something the wrong thing to do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penguin Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 can i ask whats caused him to feel like this? it'll give us a better insight and maybe be able to give better suggestions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreesSZ Posted May 15, 2006 Author Share Posted May 15, 2006 he's suffered low points before. This one was coming on just before he met a girl and he tried to hide it away making it much worse in his opinion. She proptly legged it. The place he was working in shut down and his dream of setting up in portugal has been put on hold. Lots to choose from I'm afraid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 Just give him time. As for finding things to do for him, that's actually a good point. Most depressives suffer from Atypical depression although it's not actually atypical! They respond positively to good things that happen. If you can get him to actually make something then he may well enjoy it. Just don't push him. I better go. Going to end up getting bolloxed for not working at this rate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreesSZ Posted May 15, 2006 Author Share Posted May 15, 2006 thanks Red Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penguin Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 get him to be more active .... i remember when my fiance left - worst year of my life.. nothing was going my way - same day same old shi* .... then i just started going to gym with my bro - a year on , its been the most character building time in my life... thats what you need to do - try and get him more active.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 get him to be more active .... i remember when my fiance left - worst year of my life.. nothing was going my way - same day same old shi* .... then i just started going to gym with my bro - a year on , its been the most character building time in my life... thats what you need to do - try and get him more active.... yep, I think everyone suffers feeling a bit down from time to time... getting down the gym, or just a kick out on the beach always bring things into perspective... Sound advice there Mr Penguin... (nice new outfit too... bit gay this one though.. didn't they have something a bit more, well, manly..?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penguin Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 yep, I think everyone suffers feeling a bit down from time to time... getting down the gym, or just a kick out on the beach always bring things into perspective... Sound advice there Mr Penguin... (nice new outfit too... bit gay this one though.. didn't they have something a bit more, well, manly..?) (loads of outfits to choose from.... infact over 100 pages worth .... i'll wear something special for you on wednesday ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 There is a big difference between 'being a bit down from time to time' to having a bad year to being diagnosed with depression. Does annoy me when people think that just getting out and about is the cure. Going to go now before I get grumpy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlotte Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 Exactly, an illness of the mind as such. You wouldn't treat a bout of tonsillitous with a trip to the shops. This is what used to wind my friend up. Some of the people we knew just didn't understand. But i think what Pingu and Mike were talking about was general down in the dumps behaviour, which everyone gets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedM Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 Down in the dumps I can understand. It must be great to be able to know what has triggered an episode. When the cause is something as intangible as clinical depression then it can be a bit too much for some to want to get to grips with. My ahem, favourite question was "aren't you bored with being depressed?" I ask ya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt H Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 The human brain, the most imperfect organ in all creation! Careful with the drugs tho, addiction is what happens, and i aint talking like oh i really fancy another drug, i mean, when you stop talking them, you get ill cos your bodies dependant. If hes just a bit low then stay clear of them, Also, how can doctors prescribe drugs for stuff no one understands? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nige Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 sorry to hear that mate,my dad went into a deep depression about 5 years ago it was the hardest thing i've done in my life when i had to sign the dotted line to have him sectioned in a mental ward for his own safety,he is a lot better now, takes time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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