DamanC Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 CONCERNING : ALL DAY BREAKFASTS (a.k.a A FULL ENGLISH), TEA & SAUSAGE SANDWICHES By E. BYGUM RONNY The All Day Breakfast (not to be confused with the Builder's Breakfast, which includes chips) is one of the last remaining fortresses of British (English) cuisine. When all else is lost or on the retreat, the All Day Breakfast stands alone! A symbol of our former glories and greatness. The devolved Scots, Welsh and Irish remain firmly wedded to its succulent charms, knowing that hagis, lava bread and soda bread, just do not "hit the spot". ESSENTIAL ETIQUETTE The breakfast should be eaten seated and at your leisure. (Breakfast Baps, while often tasty, stain your leathers.) It is traditional to have a copy of a tabloid (Sun recommended) to occupy ones mind at the same time as filling ones stomach. The meal should be served on a plate which has a distinct lip, so as too minimise spillage. The table should be smooth - this allows the plate to be spun, thus allowing easy access to the diverse ingredients. On no account should it be eaten with Tomato Sauce. Brown Sauce is compulsory! Hash Browns are, on no account, to be eaten, they are alien to our meal. Furthermore, they lead to premature balding and a tendency to want to own a BMW. INGREDIENTS & PREPARATION A good All Day Breakfast will have the following ingredients : 2 Eggs, 2-4 Sausages, 2-4 rashers of thin bacon, 1 or 2 slices of Fried Bread, 2 slices of Toast, cooked Tomatoes (tinned preferably), Baked Beans (Heinz). Black Pudding and/or Mushrooms are optional. Hash Browns as previously mentioned are an abberation. These should all be well cooked apart from the eggs which should be runny. The fried bread should be crispy and elastic. All grease and ingredient-associated juices should be edible, thus enabling the breakfast to slip easily down your throat with the minimum of chewing. PRESENTATION The meal should look irresistable, with good rich colouring. Paleness is almost always a bad sign. The cook's apron gives a good idea as to the quality you can expect. Likewise, a happy cook, who works fast and efficiently AND can talk at the same time is a very good sign. TEA One would think that anyone can make a good cuppa. Not so! First it should be freshly made in a stainless steel teapot with at least a couple of teabags being added to every new brew. Tea should be poured before the milk. It should be dark brown with no scum on the surface. It should retain a full flavour, even when cold. And, of course, it should start out hot! Sugar is optional but recommended. SAUSAGE SANDWICHES The sausages should be well cooked and the bread thick, firm and moderately buttered. Spreads should not be used. If a standard loaf is used, the sandwich should have two sausages split lengthways, inside facing down. In this position either Tomato or Brown Sauce can be poured into the resulting channel. Hungry anyone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muffleman Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 I am now !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian R Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 I'm going to my local truckers cafe later for a "belly buster" now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz6002 Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 I wish I wasn't at work I'm starving now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
salvatore Posted February 25, 2006 Share Posted February 25, 2006 BASTARD!!! I'm on a diet here..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DamanC Posted February 26, 2006 Author Share Posted February 26, 2006 im on my way to grab one now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.