Friday jokes

[Chris Wilson]

An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A teenager sat down next to him. He had spiked hair that was red,orange, yellow, green, blue and violet. The old man stared. Whenever the teen looked, the old man was staring.

Finally, the teenager said sarcastically: "What's the matter, old man, never done anything wild in your life?"

Without missing a beat the old man replied: "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock.....................just wondering if you were my son."

[RedM]

Got laughs all round in the office. Good one.

[Chipmunk]

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need enter a password. Something he could remember easily and will use each time he has to log on.The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in...

P

E

N

I

S

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***

[Chipmunk]

A businessman sends a fax to his wife:

"To My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you with your 54 years can no longer supply. I am very happy with you and value you as a good wife. Therefore after reading this fax, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be perturbed, I shall be back home before midnight."

 

When the man came home, he found the following letter on the dining room table.

"My dear husband, I received your fax, and thank you for your

honesty.

I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. At the same time I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael my tennis coach, who like your secretary is also 18 years old.

As a successful businessman and with your excellent knowledge of Maths, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference... 18 goes into 54 more often than 54 goes into 18."