KaoriFan Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 from an american friend. A cop pulls over a carload of nuns. Cop: "Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway -- why are you going so slow?" Sister: "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65." Cop: "Oh sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on! Sister: Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful. At this point the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. Cop: Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something terrible. Sister: Oh, we just got off of highway 119. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Simply, but effective... and I like the added comedy mechanism that they were nuns... always makes me laugh... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garetheves Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 On the Nun theme.... Two nuns were driving down the street when all of a sudden a Vampire jumped onto the bonnet of the car. The passenger turned to the driver and said "quick show hime you're cross". At which point the driver wound down the window, leaned out and shouted "Get the f*ck off my bonnet you C*nt". Ill get my coat.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaoriFan Posted November 18, 2005 Author Share Posted November 18, 2005 On the Nun theme.... Two nuns were driving down the street when all of a sudden a Vampire jumped onto the bonnet of the car. The passenger turned to the driver and said "quick show hime you're cross". At which point the driver wound down the window, leaned out and shouted "Get the f*ck off my bonnet you C*nt". Ill get my coat.... like it, nice one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KaoriFan Posted November 18, 2005 Author Share Posted November 18, 2005 i should have saved my nun joke, and used it for Christmas time. oh well :| can always get a joke out of a nun situation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Two nuns were driving down the street when all of a sudden a Vampire jumped onto the bonnet of the car. The passenger turned to the driver and said "quick show hime you're cross". At which point the driver wound down the window, leaned out and shouted "Get the f*ck off my bonnet you C*nt" That's in my top five favourite jokes of all time.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raymanuk Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Nun Decorators The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door." So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?" "Blind man!" The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt." They let him in. The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice tits. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 awesome.... this is possibly the funniest 'Nun' themed joke thread I've ever seen... and I've seen a few... this one also makes it into the top ten, and I'll probably be able to retain it?! for a while anyway... Does anyone know that joke that ends with a punchline of a doctor telling the patient, "I didn't say that, I said you've got acute angina"... didn't involve nuns but very funny... I'm sure a joke database person could work backwards from that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raymanuk Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized halfway across that the camel they were using for transportation was about to die. They set up a make-shift camp, hoping someone would come to their rescue, but to no avail. Soon the camel died. After several days of not being rescued, they agreed that they were not going to be rescued. They prayed a lot (of course), and they discussed their predicament in great depth. Finally the priest said to the nun, "You know, Sister, I am about to die, and there's always been one thing I've wanted here on earth -- to see a woman naked. Would you mind taking off your clothes so I can look at you?" The nun thought about his request for several seconds and then agreed to take off her clothes. As she was doing so, she remarked, "Well, Father, now that I think about it, I've never seen a man naked, either. Would you mind taking off your clothes, too?" With little hesitation, the priest also stripped. Suddenly the nun exclaimed, "Father! What is that little thing hanging between your legs?" The priest patiently answered, "That, my child, is a gift from God. If I put it in you, it creates a new life." "Well," responded the nun, "forget about me. Stick it in the camel!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sooper-supra Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Prawn Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 It's a but worth it. A sister rushes into the Mother Superior's office and proclaims: "Mother we have just got our first case of gonorrhea." To which the Mother Superior looks up from her desk and peers over her half moon glasses and says: "Thank Jesus for that I'm fed up with Chardonnay!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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