Mad Matt Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 GOING FOR A McSh*t entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a Mcsh*t with Lies. AEROPLANE BLONDE One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'. AUSSIE KISS Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under. BEER COAT The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am in the morning. BEER COMPASS The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze cruise, even though you're too pi$$ed to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from. BOBFOC Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch. BREAKING THE SEAL Your first pi$$ in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night. BRITNEY SPEARS Modern Slang for 'beers', e. g. "Couple of Britneys please, Doreen". DRINK-LINK A modern term for a cashpoint machine (ATM). Named so because it is common to visit one before going out on the booze. GREYHOUND A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare. JOHNNY-NO-STARS A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training. MILLENNIUM DOMES The contents of a Wonderbra, i. e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually ****-all in there worth seeing. MONKEY BATH A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!". MYSTERY BUS The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in. MYSTERY TAXI The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead. NELSON MANDELA Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager). PICASSO AR$E A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks. SALAD DODGER An excellent phrase for an overweight person. SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive woman. TART FUEL Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women. TITANIC A lady who goes down first time out. UP ON BLOCKS Menstruating i.e. out of action, a bit like a car in a garage. e.g. "I don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on blocks". WALLACE AND GROMIT Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'. WYNONA RYDER Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. e. g. "Pint of Wynona, half a Nelson and a bottle of tart fuel please Doreen" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaveriK Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Monkey Bath - Quality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian R Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Brilliant Breaking the seal is soo true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Matt Posted November 18, 2005 Author Share Posted November 18, 2005 Brilliant Breaking the seal is soo true Ain't it just m8! Back every 10 minutes after that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scoboblio Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 Thanks you've just cheered my day up no end! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voo51 Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 that is so funny, iv got to real them off to everyone at work now!! where do you get the from? just make them up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black cat Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 brilliant mate.... tt steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penguin Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 LMFAO - that was brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sooper-supra Posted November 18, 2005 Share Posted November 18, 2005 lol:clap: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Matt Posted November 18, 2005 Author Share Posted November 18, 2005 that is so funny, iv got to real them off to everyone at work now!! where do you get the from? just make them up? I wish! I got them in an email at work, so i'm just sharing the wealth guys! Gonna use a few tonight tho! I'll have a couple o pints o Britney please! LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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