Couple of quick jokes:

[Chris Wilson]

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts.

In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and firm.

In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.

After fifty, they are like onions." Onions?"

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said,

"Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes

through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree

, mighty and hard.

In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable.

After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?! "

"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."

 

 

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Qualities of a Good Doctor:

 

 

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy

class with a real dead human body.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with

a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is

necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor:

The first is that you should not be disgusted by anything involving

The human body." As an example,

the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in

the butt of the corpse, withdrew it, and stuck his finger in his mouth.

"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but

eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on

it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them,

"The second most important quality is observation.

I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now, learn

To pay attention."

[monkey76364]

@ the doc joke

 

The other is old but still good

[Pete]

That does it, tomorrow I'm sending you all my jokes stored from the last 5 years so you've got them all.