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SAN FRANSISCO MAN BECOMES FIRST AMERICAN TO GRASP THE CONCEPT OF IRONY

 

SAN FRANSISCO - We spoke to Jay Fullmer, 38, who became the first American to get to grips with the concept of irony yesterday.

 

"It was weird," Fullmer said, "I was in London and, like, talking to this guy and it was raining and shit and he said, like, great weather, or something like that."

 

Said Fullmer: "And I thought - wait a minute, it's like, no way this is great weather."

 

Fullmer soon realised that the other man's 'mistake' was deliberate.

 

"This guy was pretty cool about it," Fullmer said.

 

Fullmer, who is 39 next month and married with two children, aged 8 and 3, planned to use irony himself in future.

 

"I'm like saying it all the time." he said. "Weekend last I was like grilling steaks and I like burned them to shit so I turned to my wife and said 'great weather'."

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Adult-Entertainment Industry Donates $100,000 In Charity Sex To Hurricane Victims

October 5, 2005 | Issue 41•40

 

VAN NUYS, CA—Citing the need for a "nationwide outpouring of love," the American Adult Entertainment Foundation announced Monday that it will donate $100,000 worth of charity sex to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. "We have truckloads of willing, wild, and wet porn-industry professionals heading to refugee centers right now to take it in every hole from Katrina survivors," said AAEF spokeslut Vivica Vixxxen. "We're ready for a no-holes-barred orgy of disaster-relief action." Vixxxen added: "Of course, we'll wait until the victims are rehydrated and rested up enough to manage it."

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